Edo Tensei: My Resurrection
by Talkingbirdguy
Summary: When you die, you expect something or another to happen. It's all according to your beliefs in that regard. But what many do not expect is to hear the words, "Kuchiyose:Edo Tensei complete", first thing after dying. Where's all the angels or hellfire? Nope, I get a sadistic Snake Sage who has been messing around with the Resurrection Jutsu. Great. Not Gary-Stue.Long chapters
1. You're a Zombie, Connor

Edo Tensei: My Resurrection chap 1

Okay, this will replace my first attempt at a Naruto fic, as that one was not well thought out. I've also hit a bit of a rough patch in my Pokemon fic and need a bit of a break to think things through. This will be semi-SI and OC centric. Not a Gary-Stue (or whatever the male equivalent of a Mary-sue is.)

Warning: My chapter will all be in the 5000-8000 word range, so if you have a problem with it, don't read. This is my first story to contain any decent amount of swearing. If the occasional bad work doesn't appeal to you, please hit that back button before scrolling down. Thank you.

Disclaimer: Yeah, there's this guy named Kishimoto. He owns Naruto. I am not this guy. Get the picture?

Enjoy.

* * *

You're a Zombie, Connor

Chapter 1

My death was rather unexpected. I lived in a place where most animals would either be hibernating or already have migrated to some warmer location at the time I bit it.

Despite it normally being much warmer than up north, the southern United States does actually get very cold in the winter. So, whenever an albino snake bit through my pants leg as I walked past, I was understandably shocked. Because I was a good distance out in the woods next to my house, I did not make it back to a phone to be able to call for help.

Whatever kind of snake it was, it's venom worked quickly. I died before ever reaching the edge of the forest. Why I had not brought my own phone out there with me, I will always question.

Dying was simple and, mostly, painless. I felt my soul-or whatever it may have been-drift loose from my cooling corpse into a blank abyss. By that point, I had come to accept my premature death and was waiting for judgement. (My metaphorical fingers were crossed for something along the lines of Heaven.)

I felt my soul begin to enter… somewhere, when a painful yank pulled me away from the place. At first, I rejoiced, thinking that someone had somehow found my body and I was being revived with that life-giving tool that shocked the heart into pumping again. This soon proved to be a foolish thought when a deep chill formed on my being.

"Kuchiyose: Edo Tensei (Summoning: Impure World Resurrection): complete." A low, slightly haughty sounding, voice spoke and I opened my eyes.

I took a look at the figure before me and said, "I take it that you are not God, The Shinigami, or the Grim Reaper, correct?"

The pale figure frowned and said, "I am not. Do you know who I am?"

I scanned his face and felt a jolt of realization. His clothes were different than what I was used to, but there was no mistaking his face and voice.

"You're Orochimaru. I assume you've just reincarnated my soul in one of your laboratories." It really wasn't a question. No, really, it wasn't. This couldn't be happening. I was obviously in some sort of coma in a hospital, living out a Otaku's dream while in a state between life and death. There was no way any of this could be real. That's why I saw no harm in letting it play out. I was a big Otaku in my last life, and I could see this being interesting.

His eyebrow raised and a grin formed.

"And how do you know about Edo Tensei? And what do you know of myself as well?"

I snorted. His tone and everything was just so perfect. So _Orochimaru_.

"Well, for one, you smell like a snake. You also have very distinct facial features, way of speaking, and, oh yeah, I'm in a freaking laboratory! If that doesn't scream 'Snake Sage!' I'm not sure what does. As for the Edo Tensei, that's even more obvious. I was dead, and now I'm not. That's one of the only ways you can bring someone back to life-sort of-in this universe."

I felt his gaze get even sharper at that last comment and suddenly regretted saying it.

"One of? I would very much like you to elaborate."

I reminded myself that this was just a dream, and gave a cocky smile as I ticked off my fingers each method.

"Let's see. There's the guy's weird death god path who's with the Akatsuki. There's the life-for-a-life reincarnation technique developed by that sand lady. There's your own freaky body-swapping technique and curse marks, though those only work for-"

"My what?"

I blinked and looked at him and said, "Oh yeah. Haven't gotten to that part yet. Still wearing those clothes." He wore the green vest that you would see most Chuunin in Konoha wearing along with some bland pants and his headband. I suppose that he changed his style after leaving Konoha.

His mouth changed into a frown and he said, "You speak as though you know of what's to happen."

I grinned and held a finger to my mouth. "Can't give stuff away. Spoilers."

Orochimaru began making shapes with his hands that I recognized as hand seals while he said, "I am unsure as to whether you are simply bluffing, or telling the truth. I suppose it does not matter as I do not want someone to ruin the surprises the future brings. Kai!"

I felt my body slump slightly and ash began to slough off. My soul lifted from the body for a few feet before becoming rigid and slamming back into the body below me. I opened the body's eyes and felt myself become whole again with a slight tingling sensation.

I looked back up at the snake sage before saying, "I'm pretty sure that wasn't supposed to happen. Did you do it right?"

He scowled and said, "I've made modifications to technique. However, I did not foresee this problem occurring." He ran through the hand signs again and shouted, "Kai!" This time, I only got a few inches out of the body before being snatched back.

I opened my eyes again and said, "So. Having trouble?"

He glared at me on equal parts frustration, irritation, and curiosity.

"Hold still," he commanded and I didn't get to question why before a blade embedded itself in my throat, knocking me out of the circle of odd letters and lines that I had been sitting in.

I felt the pain of the kunai and blood began flowing out of my compromised air pipe. That's when I decided that, even if this was a dream, I would treat it as though it was real. Though it looked like I made that decision a bit too late. Judging by the amount of blood pouring out of me, I only had- huh?

I felt the kunai fall out of my throat and my hand moved away from my slowly healing throat. It was slower than when the other reincarnated people healed in the anime. It took almost a full minute for it to heal until I didn't even feel a scratch left behind.

I found that my breath was heaving and forced myself to say, "I'm not supposed to bleed. I'm dead! I'm- the ash! It- what did you do!?" I admit it, I was scared nearly witless. Only the fact that I knew I couldn't die kept me from breaking down into a quivering mass.

He grinned and said, "Oh, I've improved it. The old version left behind cracks in the skin and other imperfections, such as the lack of blood and sclera color. With this new method, supposedly, no one can tell the difference unless they watch your wound regenerate. I need to figure out how to delay that so the killer will lower their guard. This current version heals too quickly."

"You're trying to make the perfect spy. One who can blend in and even pretend die." I gave a wry grin while extending my arms to the left and right. "So do I meet your expectations, Orochimaru- _sama_?" I put as much sarcasm into the -sama as I could manage.

"No. I expected an empty shell with about as much emotion as the person I used for the sacrifice. There wasn't much use for a broken mind in a still-living body, but I made due."

At those words, I remembered that the technique used a sacrificial victim. The thought that a person had died to bring me back was unsettling, but I found myself really not disturbed by it. Call me cold and uncaring, but my survival was a little more important than my morals in that case.

"That reminds me. How did you summon my soul? You shouldn't have been able to get any of my DNA." Unless he had a trans-dimensional jutsu and happened to tear a bit of my flesh off when I wasn't paying attention, I didn't know how he had pulled me in.

His analytical eyes bored into me and I looked down at the floor. It was impossible to hold the gaze with the insane genius.

"I didn't use any DNA. That was one of the changes I made to the technique. It is obvious that this approach failed. I will have to reevaluate Edo Tensei before attempting this method again."

I scowled and quipped, "Aww, you think of me as a failure. That hurts my feelings."

There was deadly silence for a moment before his arm rose and I was surrounded in a rope made of scales that restricted my breathing and arm movement.

"Yo, little less reptile, please- Hurk!" The black snake of massive proportions, easily the thickness of my waist, tightened somewhat at my words and I had the distinct expression that the animal was annoyed. The look the snake gave me resembled a glare a great deal.

As I had no way of holding myself up, I was laying on the ground when I felt his hand grab around my ankle and he began to drag me. He wasn't gentle about it.

I kept the complaints that rose up from the rude treatment in my head and instead looked around at the area he dragged me through. The hallways were hardly lit and the air was damp and cool. If he didn't somehow keep it so sanitary, moss and other plant life would not have been surprising to see. Because of the lack of light, I couldn't tell much about the area aside from what I felt as my back was dragged over it.

"Have they announced who the fourth Hokage is going to be?"

Judging by the tighter-more painful-grip on my ankle, the answer was yes.

"So Minato-sama won out- Shit!" I hissed when his tightened grip elicited a cracking sound from my ankle. I recognized the sound of bone breaking. I had broken my arm once and the sound wasn't easily forgotten.

I cursed under my breath profusely, straining at my scaly bindings to try to rip my slowly healing ankle out of the psycho's grip. He would wait until it healed to crush it again. The snake latched its fangs into my shoulder, tearing a scream from my throat.

I felt Orochimaru stop, but didn't see anything thing with my eyes and jaw screwed shut to try from letting out any more sounds or tears. The snake bastard didn't deserve to get any pleasure from the pain he caused me.

He dragged me a little ways more before the snake unwound itself from around me and slithered back to his master.

"We will talk later. I have some business to attend to." He then closed the door and presumably left. I couldn't hear any steps, but he was a ninja, that meant nothing. There was no light aside from what miniscule amount leaked beneath the door, so I could see literally nothing.

I sat up and felt my ankle. I found that there was no lingering pain and gave a grim smile at the discovery. At least being a constantly regenerating zombie had its perks.

Speaking of zombie, I felt my clothes, wondering if I had been brought back while wearing the clothes I had worn when I died. I felt the slightly rough texture of the jeans I had worn. I felt the shirt I had been wearing, but the jacket was not to be found. Neither were my shoes and socks. My boxers, thankfully, were still on me. No going commando for this guy.

To my eternal shock, I found that my glasses were still on my head. With all that had been going on, I hadn't even noticed their presence. I was equally glad, and bummed, that I apparently still needed something to correct my vision. At least I still had them, I was grateful for that one thing. I searched my pockets and found them woefully empty.

Once I assured myself that I had all my clothes, I got to my feet unsteadily. I took a few steps in the direction the thin line of light laid and felt my hands come in contact with the door. I tested the door extensively before giving it up as a lost cause. That door was locked and I would not be exiting out of it until someone else let me out.

"Stupid pedophile. Couldn't he have stuck with Sasuke and left a freaking seventeen year old from another dimension out of the picture?" I grumbled lowly as I lowered myself to the ground and tried to get comfortable.

* * *

I heard the faintest sound of rumbling and woke up. When I listened closely, I thought I heard the sound of metal on metal and yells. That must have been the team Hiruzen Sarutobi led against Orochimaru. At least, I prayed it was. There was a good chance it was simply some of his test subjects fighting against him in the attempt to escape, but I could hope.

"Hey! In here! Help!" I began yelling out, hoping that someone would hear and come to my aid.

The sound of the door unlocking sounded like music to my ears, that is, until the door swung open to reveal a scowling Orochimaru.

I smiled and said, "Sarutobi-sama will be here soon. I suggest you start slithering away."

The killing intent he emitted had me stumble to the back of the cell and I regretted my smart mouth.

"The original me will be leaving the area as I speak. I am here to make sure you are not an issue in the future." I didn't know what he meant, but I did understand that the snake sage that I spoke to was some form of clone. This became even more obvious when he pulled out a long stream of what I recognized as explosive tags and began to line the doorway and outside hall with the paper.

If I could have moved, I would have been sprinting away. His KI kept me pinned in place.

Once he was done, he turned to me with a malicious look and said, "Goodbye, failed experiment." He made a hand seal and the explosions went off. The hallway, and my room, became destabilized and caved in. I saw the clone turn into mud when a heavy rock hit it. I only wish I could have been so lucky. The stones from the ceiling fell on my form even as I stumbled forward to the only exit.

"No no no _nonono **nonononononono**_ **!** " I screamed as the rocks first pinned my legs, ripping them off at the knees with a spurt of blood. Then they fell on my extended arms, immobilising me. By the time they crushed my ribcage and everything below my neck, I was in acute agony. I didn't exactly black out, no. No, I wasn't lucky enough for a mercy like that. By some divine action, my head was the only thing not crushed. Everything from the bottom of my neck down was gone. Simply gone. I existed in a cavity in the earth that was kept unfilled by the forces of nature and luck.

After awhile, I stopped even feeling the ache. My entire self was a freaking head, staring into the darkness. Unable to move. Unable to even take a breath. For how can one take a breath without lungs?

The only things I could move were my jaw, my tongue, and my eyes. Fat load any of them did.

When I could think of nothing I could possibly do, I waited. I waited. And waited.

Eventually, the darkness became a nice thing. An eternal fixture to my existence. I believe I went mad once or twice. Maybe I slipped into a coma at some point?

In the darkness, I waited. I remembered and I forgot. Reality became uncertain for my mind.

And you want to know the worst thing? It had to do with my glasses. **THEY WERE ASKEW AND I HAD NO WAY OF STRAIGHTENING THEM!**

* * *

It wasn't that obvious, the subtle tremors. The only reason I noticed them is because I had gone with years without any stimulus aside from whatever I created myself.

My eyes opened for the first time in awhile. I think I had been sleeping. Not like I could do much else.

But the tremors got slightly rougher and I felt my head roll slightly.

Shitshitshit! I moved my jaw to prevent my head from falling on its side and only just managed it. I wondered what had caused- scratch that, what was causing all the tremors I felt.

Without warning, the area around me shifted and I felt everything around me just disappear.

Yes. Just vanish.

Myself included.

I couldn't see until my eyes regenerated and I found myself-or at least my single eye-high above the ground and facing somewhat in a downward direction. If my eyelids hadn't been vaporized and yet to reform, I would have blinked in surprise. This much stimulus was rather much. Combined with the sight of a village burning and a giant fox demon thrashing about with chains covering it, I was beginning to miss the blank existence being buried had provided me. Alas, the area I had been in seemed to be but a giant furrow due to some violent attack.

I saw everything happening below me, but couldn't hear anything as my ears had yet to reform. My eyes-the other had reformed-began to drop as gravity finally took hold. I dropped slowly enough that I saw the giant fox seem to shrink to half its size before disappearing entirely.

My head and torso reformed when I was still a few hundred meters above the giant trees that covered the ground everywhere below me. For the first time in years, I smiled. And it wasn't one born of temporary insanity, it was sincere. My arms were beginning to come back, along with my legs, when I hit the tree.

Well, I actually became impaled through my back on the top of one of the trees and slid several meters down it before stopping. My smile had been replaced with a grimace as I felt the sting from having a giant tree, or the top of it anyways, shoved through my middle. No one has any right to complain of splinters in my presence.

My arms reformed and I pushed up on some branches to see the damage.

Honestly, I was beginning to really miss being buried by that point. The tree stuck perfectly through my stomach and blood dribbled from the edges while ash moved in and did its best to fix it. I looked up and saw that the tree rose almost five or six meters above where I had stopped, courtesy of a branch.

I considered my options and decided on the easiest path.

"Screw this." I fixed my glasses, which had reformed along with my head, and let myself relax. My arms laid on the branches nearby while my legs hung due to no support being nearby. A pity, I would have propped them up and been a bit more comfortable.

I looked up at the night sky and smiled when I saw clouds above. Hours later, it began to rain and I got to parch my thirst for the first time in years. Of course, my mouth constantly produced spit in my mouth like a well hydrated person, despite having no moisture where I was underground. That, however, did not compare to the rainwater that I collected while it rained. It was cool and refreshing.

* * *

A month or so passed before I saw signs of human life. I had seen several birds, and had to scare off countless vultures, but had yet to detect any human life. Despite being only a few miles from the village I saw, no one really came out there. It probably had something to do with everyone being needed in-village to rebuild after the fox demon's attack. They would probably be too busy watching their borders to keep a closer eye near home.

The sound of a nearby branch being disturbed woke me from the nap I was taking.

"-hurry up! Let's inspect this area so we can get back and get some real training in!"

A boyish voice, young by the sound of it, yelled out from a little ways away.

"Yeah yeah. Relax! It's not like anything is going to change. Do another scan, would ya?" This came from another young boy and seemed to be directed away from the first, if my hearing was telling me right.

"Tch. It's like I'm doing all the work. Let's stop here so I can focus."

They fell quiet and I opened my eyes, actually feeling some interest at whether they would find me or not. Truthfully, I could care less either way. If they found me, okay. If they didn't, okay. Didn't matter. (I didn't know it at the time, but I was feeling really Nihilistic.)

"I can feel somebody over there, in the tree!" Her voice became a little high pitched in surprise and I smiled a little at her reaction.

Branches even closer were disturbed and I heard the sound of one of them gasping.

"Is he dead?"

"I could sense his chakra, he's alive, somehow."

"Should I poke him?"

"No, you idiot!"

I decided to end this and moved for the first time by twisting my head in the direction I heard the three of them talking from.

"Yo," is all I managed before getting a kunai in my shoulder.

"Idiot! Don't hurt the guy!" the girl shrieked and I winced from the shrillness of it. Seriously kid, be quiet.

"Sorry! I- how are you even alive!?" The one asking was shaking and had acquired wide eyes while the other male looked like he was about to puke. The girl, shockingly enough, looked to be the calmest of the three. Maybe she had experience with blood?

"Good genetics. I suggest you go find your sensei or some superior and have them take me into custody." I pulled the kunai out and dropped it. Let the kid get it if he wanted it.

The surprise showed on all of them. They were probably new Genin with little experience in the field if they were just inspecting the outskirts of Konoha. I didn't recognize any of them, so I wasn't certain.

"Are you a criminal?"

"No. Well, maybe. I don't know. I'm not from Konoha and I have no passports to come into your village. There are procedures, correct?"

"Er-yeah. Let's go! You stay right there!" I gave the kid who looked like he wanted to blow chunks a droll look and he shivered.

They sped away a moment later and I let my head lay on the branch again and slept.

* * *

"Wake up." I opened my eyes to see a masked face looking down on me. I recognized the mask of an Anbu member when I saw it. The shock of white hair that rose above the red and black colored dog mask nearly had me grin when recognition hit. There were very few people who had such white hair at such a young age and I didn't see any toad sages around.

"Why are you alive? Explain." His voice was clipped, professional, and permitting no argument.

"Do you mean how am I still alive despite having this giant splinter through my middle, or about how I was born?"

"Do not play games. You are severely injured and in possible hostile territory. You do not have that option."

I rolled my eyes and said, "I fell from high up and there was a tree in the right spot. That enough of an explanation for you or do you want me to draw you a picture?"

I could see nothing beyond his mask, but got the impression that he was annoyed.

"Now are you going to get me off of here, or are we going to play twenty questions?"

"Will you survive going the opposite direction?" He gestured at the tree.

I grimaced and said, "I'll survive no matter what you do. What's the plan?"

"Don't resist." He put his hands under my back and walked up the tree, pushing my cursing self along until I was removed from the top and he dropped me on a lower branch.

I groaned and popped several joints with my newfound freedom. Meanwhile, the ash reconstructed my middle with a little bit of blood flowing alongside the ash.

"Is that a- never mind. Hold still." I looked up as he flickered and I soon saw black.

* * *

I woke up to the sensation of weightlessness, then a thud before it repeated.

"You are not very polite, are you?"

"You shouldn't be awake."

"I shouldn't be alive. I think regaining consciousness is a bit less odd." Frankly, what I wondered about was how my glasses managed to stay on my face with all the jostling I went through.

"Be silent and I won't knock you out again."

"Fine." I closed my mouth and stayed quiet as he carried me over his shoulder. I found that my hands and legs had been tied hard enough that I had lost feeling in both. I soon got bored.

"Going to T&I?"

"I told you to be quiet."

"I haven't had a good conversation in years. Cut me some slack!" Kakashi was not a good conversationalist.

"Do not make me knock you out again."

"Ugh. Fine." This time I stayed silent. When I saw the walls of Konoha, by bending my head in a painful manner, I saw blackness once again.

* * *

My eyes opened and I muttered, "Lying bastard."

I found my hands clamped to a table and my legs were tied to the chair I sat in.

I was in T&I.

Upon inspecting the room, I saw that I was attached to the only decorations in the room, aside from the door and the chair across from me. I didn't see any one-way windows or anything else in the room.

Once I saw all that I could in the room, I laid my head back on the table and fell asleep.

Seconds after I did so, the door opened and I shifted my head so I was looking at the new occupant of the room while resting on my head.

Judging by the odd eyes he had, and his blond hair, I assumed that he was a Yamanaka. Not Inoichi, he was a bit too broad shouldered to be Inoichi, but some other Yamanaka. It made sense that a few would be in T&I, when you considered their jutsu that could sift around in a person's head.

"Do you know where you are?" Yamanaka man asked after sitting down across from me with a blank face. I decided to sit up, as it would have been uncomfortable to speak in that position.

"Konoha Torture and Interrogation, I presume?"

"Correct. Who are you?"

"The name is Connor. Might I know the name of my interrogator?"

I suppose not, as he said, "What are you doing in Konoha?"

"I was brought here by that Anbu guy."

"Why were you near Konoha?"

"I was impaled on a tree and found that it would have been too much work to find a way off of it." My inner Nara was showing itself.

That elicited a twitch from his near perfect poker face.

"How are you alive after taking that injury?"

"I'm actually dead, so it wouldn't kill me."

He blinked and I saw him looking into my bored eyes. Apparently what he saw convinced him, or something along those lines.

"And how are you dead?"

I gave him a 'did you really ask me that' look and said, "I died. Got resurrected. Not much else to it."

He nodded and stood.

"I will be back later." Then he left. I went back to sleep.

Hours later, by my guess, the door opened and I lifted my head again. I straightened up.

It was Hiruzen Sarutobi. He was wearing his Hokage robes and sat his hat on the table before taking the seat. To the left and right of the door stood two Anbu.

"Do you know who I am?"

"The Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi-sama. Nice to meet you."

His face gave no indication of his 'old grandfather' persona that he held in the show. It was a battle-hardened commander's face.

"You say you died and was brought back. By who and why?"

I grimaced and said, "By your former student. And he was trying to create the perfect spy."

His face took on a darker tone and he said, "Then Orochimaru brought you back." It wasn't a question.

"Yes. He brought me back in his old hideout that you led the raid on. The one he fled from after you found it. He collapsed the area he locked me in."

His eyebrow rose slightly. "And where did you go after it collapsed?"

"Go? I didn't ' **go** ' anywhere. I was trapped underground until that fox demon obliterated the spot I was at. I started to reform high above the ground and was impaled on a tree on my way down. At that point, I chose to enjoy the world around me and relax."

"With a tree through your middle?"

I shrugged and said, "After existing with my body crushed and only my head able to move, I got used to pain. Years without end of that will get you used to it."

"I thought that those who are resurrected cannot feel pain."

"Orochimaru changed it somehow. He didn't try to summon any spirit in particular, mine just got dragged in by luck. He also changed it so that the eyes aren't as odd and I can bleed. He also couldn't release me. He tried several times and my spirit got dragged back each attempt. What are my eyes like? I never got to see myself in a mirror."

The Hokage did not speak for a full minute.

"Did you attempt to go against his wishes?"

"I didn't exactly want to go along with the bastard, if that's what you are asking."

"Did you resist in any form? Despite a direct command?"

I thought back and said, "He dragged me to my cell without trying to give me a command. I don't know if that means anything. He also used a snake to restrain me as he dragged me by my ankle to my cell."

Hiruzen stood and said, "My final question is this. Why shouldn't I have one of my other students, a Fuinjutsu master, seal you away so you can never become a threat to this village?"

I thought for a moment and finally shrugged.

"Frankly, I have nothing to convince you. I was only with Orochimaru for about twenty minutes, tops, so I am useless, information-wise. I do not even know if I can do any of the things I've seen you do as I am not originally from this world, so becoming one of your soldiers is only a small option."

"You would consider becoming a Shinobi of Konoha? Why?" I was more surprised he didn't ask what I meant by being from another world.

"I only want one thing. If I'm given that promise, I'll do whatever Konoha asks of me."

His eyes narrowed. "And that is?"

"After Orochimaru is dead, whether by my hand or by someone else's, I want an effort made to release my soul from this body. Not the typical sealing, as that will simply immobilize my body, but an actual release."

"You wish to die?"

I nodded. "I died in my other world and was about to enter the next life, whatever that may have been. That snake bastard took my afterlife from me, wasted many years of this one, and made it so I cannot die but I can still suffer. Several times, when I was buried, I went insane. Orochimaru put me through that torture and I want him to pay. Once that is done, I want my release."

Hiruzen nodded slowly after a moment, giving a nod of understanding.

"I will have an expert at mind Ninjutsu inspect your mind before I make any decisions. After that, we will talk some more."

I nodded and asked, "Is the expert about to come in? Or can I sleep for a little while?"

I received the first hint off amusement from the old man at that and he answered. "He will be in shortly."

Without any sort of signal, the Yamanaka from before walked in and positioned himself behind me.

"Do not resist," he ordered and I rolled my eyes.

"You are the second person to tell me that today, you know that?"

He didn't give any response, but did place his hand on the top of my head. He then grunted and my surroundings changed.

I found myself sitting in a comfortable armchair in the living room of my house. Honest to God, I thought I had woken up from a horrible dream and was safe, for a moment at least.

"Where is this?" And the illusion was broken when the Yamanaka spoke up from the couch to the right of my comfy armchair.

I scowled and said, "My house. Now how do we proceed?"

He stopped his scanning of the room and looked back to me.

"It can go one of two ways. I will ask you a question or about something and I will see everything pertaining to that question as you think of it. I will know if you hold anything back or create false images. The other-"

"Lets just go with the first. Ask away." I relaxed into the armchair and had to resist dozing off. I wonder what the ramifications of falling asleep in your own mind are?

"Tell me what you know of Konoha."

The television that we faced flicked on and it showed an animated version of an overhead view of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Several images flickered by, faster than I could pick them up, yet I still saw them in my memories. I remembered about all the characters I had seen in Konoha in the show. About the character's lives. Their deaths, if they came.

It was when Pain was beginning to destroy Konoha that the Yamanaka said, "Stop!"

"All of this I am seeing. I know you are being truthful and that none of this is fake. But why is it all in that language? And why is all of it shown in such an unlifelike way?"

I turned from the tv and said, "When I was buried, I thought of things that would come to be. In the end, it's worth it. But several decisions could have been altered to create a brighter future. As for the language, that is my native language. English is what it is called. Whatever the snake did with the resurrection jutsu, it must allow me to understand your language. How useful. Next question, or will I continue the scheduled program?" A remote formed in my hand with my finger poised over the Play button. I had been speaking the truth before. I had thought about the show often while underground, so I wasn't lying, per say.

"We will save that for another time. Were you speaking the truth to Hokage-sama when you told him what your conditions were? Would you become a loyal Shinobi of Konoha if we agree to your terms?"

"I will. Just give me the training and I will perform to the best of my ability. I have one other request, and you will have my loyalty."

"Say it."

"My knowledge of the future doesn't include every detail. And thus, I can't be relied on for trivial things. My request is this. You keep the knowledge of my foresight tightly controlled between you, Hokage-sama, and only those who need to know. I do not want some civilian coming up to me, asking if their crop will sell nicely this year. Or anything worse. I do promise to speak up when anything of high importance rises. That is all."

Yamanaka-san, as I decided to call him, nodded after a minute of consideration.

"I am exiting your mind now."

I was back in the T&I room and his hand came off of my head.

"He is loyal to Konoha, provided that a certain detail stays an S Ranked secret. And the other condition he has stated."

Hiruzen nodded his head and lifted his hand to the Anbu in the room. They exited without a word.

Yamanaka-san told Hiruzen about my foresight, and that everything he saw had been truthful.

"Those are your only conditions to becoming a Shinobi of Konoha?"

"Yes," I answered Hiruzen .

He nodded after a minute and said, "You will be given an apartment to live in and a monthly stipend until you are considered competent enough to take on Shinobi duties. You will have an Anbu guard on you at all times, so consider all of your actions wisely. If I believe that you are a threat to this village, I will seal you away and make sure that you are not found unless someone searches a few miles below the surface of the ocean."

"Understood. Can I go now?"

"In a moment. Understand that I will have people train you. You will be pushed extremely hard, harder than most so you can catch up to those of your age. How old are you?"

I thought about it and said, "When I died, sixteen. I'm not sure how many years have gone by but I really haven't aged much mentally. So I would go with seventeen."

"Very well. I will have someone escort you to your new apartment after a suitable one is found."

The Hokage stood and left the room, leaving a parting comment. "Best of luck to you, Connor-kun and welcome to Konoha."

* * *

After Hiruzen had left, I was released from my restraints and taken out of T&I. Another masked individual appeared next to me and said, "This way."

She, for the blank tone seemed just a bit too high to be a male, led me at a brisk pace and in total silence. It took about twenty full minutes at a near jog, but she stopped in front of a building and held out a pair of keys that I accepted.

"Second floor. Room J17. Call out if you need anything." With that, she disappeared with a fluttering of leaves left behind.

I walked into the apartment building, passing a few people as I went up the stairs and finally arrived at my door. I entered my apartment and found the bedroom first. The bed was a little more low than what I had in my past life, but I could get used to it. There was a single dresser and a short nightstand next to the bed with a lamp on it. The room looked spartan in how everything had a purpose and there was nothing extra. I liked it.

I searched the kitchen and found some old tea packets, but nothing more. The living room comprised of a futon and a table with tatami mats folded under it. It probably seconded at a dining room, as there was no other tables to be found.

I considered going out and eating, but remembered that I had no money. And I wasn't about to ask one of the Anbu for a loan, even if they would have obliged. I never liked owing anybody anything in my last life and that hadn't changed. Owing Hiruzen and Konoha my loyalty was as far as I was willing to go in the debt department.

Seeing as it was beginning to get dark, I retrieved the tea packets and located a kettle to boil some water in. I really didn't need to eat or drink, as evidenced by the years I spent underground with no nourishment. (I did it to enjoy the taste.) I didn't need to sleep or even breath. Frankly, it wasn't all of that that freaked me out the most. It was the fact that I did not feel the urge to use the bathroom. Ever.

Coming out of the daze, I finished making the tea and poured the result in a cup. After blowing on the steaming liquid, I took a sip.

I then sat the cup down gently, poured what was left in the kettle down the sink, and then followed it with the tea in the cup. After throwing away the remaining packets, I made a mental note to pick up _fresh_ tea packets.

Finding nothing else to do, I thought for a moment and said, "Anbu?"

One of the masked figures, with a tiger pattern on its face, appeared. I was surprised that it worked.

"Is the library still open? And does it have books that provide basic instructions for controlling chakra available?"

"It is closed at this time, but does have what you are asking for."

I nodded. "I will be wanting to go there tomorrow and get a few of those books. That is all. Thank you, Anbu-san."

He nodded and was gone a moment later. With my only idea gone, I shrugged and went to my bedroom. I undressed, keeping only my boxers on. I needed to get some sleeping clothes when I went shopping for essentials.

I found an alarm clock on the nightstand and set it before turning the lamp off and falling asleep. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.

* * *

And there it is. The first chapter. Any and all suggestions are helpful and welcome. I already have most of the 2nd chapter written, so I'll make a deal. The day this chapter hits 5 reviews, that's the day I post the 2nd chapter. (I don't think I've ever prayed for less reviews before, but hey, I like a challenge.)


	2. The Demon Cat, Tamed!

Edo Tensei: My Resurrection chap 2

And here's the next chapter! Thanks to those who reviewed/followed/favorited/etc. A note I would like to make, to those who know that the resurrected have dirt, not ash, heal their wounds, I know of this. I decided to change this, as ash just seems more interesting than earth.

I wish to thank HaPPy2901 for being the first ever reviewer on this story. Thank you! (And don't think I do not appreciate the rest of those who reviewed. I love each and every one!)

Disclaimer: Connor is mine, the plot is my brainchild. The universe it resides in, however, belongs to Kishimoto, Dattebayo!

Enjoy.

* * *

The Demon Cat, Tamed!

Chapter 2

My hand clamped down on the ringing alarm clock and I felt immediate animosity to the inanimate object. It probably had to do with the fact that I had set the cursed thing to wake me up at 8:00 AM, and it read 6:00. I wondered if the Anbu had changed it while I was asleep for whatever reason. Wow, not even a ninja yet and already paranoid. Perfect!

"We are not going to be very good friends, eh, Clock-san?" I didn't much care that the Anbu were more than likely listening in on me and questioning my sanity. They lived in the same village as Maito Guy and, eventually, Rock Lee. They would survive my small eccentricities.

I took a quick shower and took some time to observe my features in the bathroom mirror. I saw that I had kept my short, black hair and my bright blue eyes. The whites of my eyes, however, were more of a gray color. Orochimaru's tampering with Edo Tensei wasn't perfect, it appeared. Maybe people would mistake the color as a trick of the light going through my glasses? If not, whatever. People here were used to the Byakugon and Sharingan.

I couldn't find any cracks on my skin, like what the resurrected had in the show. I was thankful of that. My height, as far as I could tell, stayed at its towering 6'2''. While I had no abs to speak of, I was pretty thin. The lean kind of thin. I was a runner on my high school's cross country team in my other life and that kept me in nice shape.

Too bad that meant absolutely jack crap in this life. I knew I would be working my tail off, and then the workout would actually begin. I just prayed they never assigned Maito Guy or some other craz- overly enthusiastic person to train me. I doubted that I could survive that, despite the inability to die. I wondered if seppuku could put me out of my misery?

I shook the thoughts from my head and got dressed before walking out into the living room.

"Anbu."

A different Anbu, one with a bear mask, appeared.

"Will you please direct me to the library, if the Hokage does not require me to do anything as of now?"

"Hokage-sama has yet to direct you anywhere, but does leave this for you." He pulled an envelope from a pocket and deposited it in my hands. He then gave directions to the library and was gone.

I opened the envelope and found what I assumed to be ryo-or whatever their currency is called-held inside. I didn't know how much it really was, so I grabbed about an eighth of the wad and stuck it in my pocket. I stored the rest in my pillow case until I could find a better location. Preferably, some kind of bank.

I then grabbed my key, locked up my apartment, and set out for the library.

As I was walking, I noticed several stares coming from the villagers that were on the street at the time. They would typically look away after I matched their stares with my own half lidded eyes. I had a record of being passively hostile in my past life, and that carried over in certain instances.

My clothes probably had something to do with it. I had yet to see anyone wearing jeans or a long sleeve shirt in the same style as mine. The stares really didn't affect me much, but it was an irritant nonetheless.

I noticed a clothing store that looked to lean heavily to serving Shinobi and decided to step into it. I saw the usual pants that I had seen the Anbu wearing and some bland shirts with very few designs to take note of. I noticed that there was no trace of any real unique styles and wondered if those had to be custom ordered or bought elsewhere.

"Can I help you?" an employee asked from behind me and I nearly jumped, lost in thought as I was.

"I was wondering," I said as I turned around to the man, "Can you make customized clothing upon request?"

The man smiled and said, "You've come to the right place as we can do exactly what you are asking for. What do you have in mind?"

I thought for a moment and asked, "Do you mind if I draw what I have in mind down and bring it in some other time? I'm really bad at describing things."

"It's no problem at all. Just bring it in and I will see what I can do. Is there anything else you need to ask?"

"Yes. How much are these?" I held up a pair of shoes that looked to be my size and he named off a price. They were what most ninja wore, aside from odd cases such as Jiraiya, and looked to be comfortable. They seemed to be cheap as well, and I really needed some shoes.

I exited the shop, clad in my recent purchase, when Anbu Bear-as I decided to call the Anbu members with animal masks-appeared in front of me.

"Hokage-sama requests your presence."

I blinked and said, "Understood. Which way?" I was too new to the village, and had yet to figure out where to go to get to certain places. Or anywhere, really.

"Actually, he's asked me to bring you there, as your current method of travel is slow."

I placed my hand over my heart in a dramatic manner and said, "Ah, you wound me with your harsh words, Anbu-san."

"Hold still." He grabbed me across my waist and I felt the world blur by. A moment later, we stood outside of the Hokage building.

He let go and I stood still for a moment, not trusting my legs with how unbalanced I felt.

"Was that Shunshin?"

"Yes. Are you able to walk?"

The feeling passed after a moment and I pushed my glasses up with one finger and nodded while stepping to the door.

I nodded at the secretary on the first floor as we passed by, Anbu Bear leading me up the stairs and outside the Hokage's office.

Anbu Bear knocked on the door and an, "Enter," was heard.

He opened the door and waited outside while I walked in. The Hokage sat behind his desk and I walked forward until I stood a couple yards away from the paperwork ridden desk.

"You called, Hokage-sama?"

He nodded and said, "I have found you a teacher-"

He was interrupted by a knock on the door, and the secretary walked in with a small, but impressive, mound of paper and placed it on his desk.

"Just got these in. They need your approval and they need to be filled out by the end of today."

And without another word, she turned around and left the room, all the while holding a small smile.

I looked at the small mound and whistled at how I didn't even notice its addition to his already mountainous looking desk.

"How do you even get that much paperwork done?"

He scowled and said, "Practice. Lots and lots of ink-stained practice."

I gave him a pitying look and said, "I think I may have a method of making it a bit easier. I'll tell you just as soon as you tell me what you were going to say before."

His eyes lit up in interest and he said, "Here is your teacher."

A familiar Anbu 'face' appeared out of nowhere. His shock of white hair made me nearly groan out loud. Instead, I said, "Why him? I mean, I'm not complaining, but why him? Is it because you want to keep my 'status' under wraps?"

Hiruzen's nod confirmed my belief that he wanted me to keep everything I knew under a tight lid.

"Very well." I turned to Anbu Dog, who was actually Kakashi, and said, "I am pleased to be learning under you, Anbu-sensei."

He spared me a glance before saying, "Meet me at training ground eighteen today at 1:00. Be on time." He then walked out of the door and I snorted after he left the room. Him. Telling me to be on time? Oh how the tables will turn.

Hiruzen gave me a raised eyebrow, to which I waved my hand to and he dropped it.

"Now what was that method you were referring to earlier? The one about helping me with this." The last word almost came out as a hiss, and he glared at the pile. I think I actually saw it grow slightly in the last few minutes.

"Well, there's the good ole fashioned Katon jutsu, but I have a feeling that some of that is pretty important."

His eyebrow twitched and I had the feeling that he wanted to torch me along with the paperwork, so I got to the point.

"You do know Kage Bunshin no jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique), correct? Just have them work on the paperwork and give you their memories upon dispelling."

The whole room, hell, the whole village seemed to pause for a moment. I felt the signs of KI leaking off of Hiruzen and took a few steps back. Thankfully, it was not directed at me.

"Namikaze, you bastard! That's how you got it all done so quickly!" He pointed an accusing finger at a picture of the fourth Hokage, Minato Namikaze and began spewing out a string of curses and various forms of torture he would perform on him in the next life.

Can one even dunk a person in the center of a volcano without getting burnt themselves? Is that a feasible form of torture?

Seeing as the esteemed Hokage's rant had gone on for five minutes straight, with no signs of stopping, I coughed loudly to catch his attention. The KI was beginning to get a bit much.

"I will take my leave then, Hokage-sama?"

He paused and coughed lightly, regaining his composure before speaking again.

"Yes. I look forward to seeing your progress."

With that, I left the Hokage tower and went to the library.

"Excuse me," I interrupted the woman scribbling something on a scroll.

"One moment." She finished whatever she was writing and looked up to me with a smile. "What do you need?"

I smiled back and said, "Can you point me to the section regarding chakra control? I need to do a bit of research."

Her smile faded slightly and she said, "That's on the second floor and for Shinobi only. Do you have permission?"

I looked behind me and said, "Anbu?"

Anbu Bear dropped from the ceiling, eliciting a jump from the librarian.

"The Hokage has permitted him to level two access."

The woman stuttered, "O-of course, Anbu-san."

I turned back to the woman and waited.

"Up those stairs, third bookshelf you pass."

"Thank you." I walked through the ground floor, past a large amount of shelves filled with books, and up the stairs.

I went to the shelf the woman directed me to and searched until I found one that sounded right.

"'Chakra: How to harness and how to use'. This aught to do."

I spent the next hour or so reading that book. I skipped some sections that held information that I already knew or warnings that didn't apply to me. Really, I seriously doubted that chakra exhaustion would affect me. If I somehow got hurt with overpowering a technique, I would heal right up.

After my third hour, and seventh book, of reading, Anbu Bear walked up and said, "It is 12:00. I suggest you get moving if you wish to be early to your training." I heard a hint of warning in his tone and chose to heed it.

I finished up the page I had been reading before remembering its number and standing.

"Thanks for the warning. Give me a minute." I put the books back in their correct locations and followed Anbu Bear as he led me to training ground eighteen.

I arrived at about 12:45 and found Kakashi sitting on a stump, waiting for me.

Anbu Bear nodded to Kakashi before vanishing in a puff of smoke. Were all Shinobi drama queens? Ever heard of this thing called Walking? Or did you skip it and Running to go straight into Smoke Emitting Ninja Transportation?

I bowed to Kakashi and said, "I hope I am not too early, Anbu-sensei."

"You are not. Continue to be this early from now on." He stood and came closer to me. I had to hold back the urge to note that I was much taller than him, though it wasn't difficult. I knew he could kick my ass six (thousand) ways to Sunday.

"Tell me what you know of chakra."

"It's the spiritual and physical energy inside all living things and Shinobi use it to do Ninjutsu. It said that chakra is essential for life, but I'm not sure about that part."

"Why?"

"Where I come from, there is no such thing as someone tree hopping or walking up walls. Everyone is basically a civilian. But I'm not sure if the Hokage wants me to go into details about my past, so I'm going to stop there."

He nodded and said, "First, we are going to test your reflexes. I want you to do your best not to get hurt, but because of your 'condition' I am not going to hold back the impacts very much. Just my speed."

I didn't get out an, "Oh Shit!" Before he moved forward with a basic punch to my midsection, which I deflected with my arm at the last moment. He came from my left with a kick and I crossed my arms to block the attack. I heard a small cracking sound in my left arm and jumped back a few feet to give my arm time to heal. It hurt like a mother, but only took thirty seconds. Meanwhile, I was focusing on dodging the various punches and kicks that he threw at me.

Some, I was successful in getting out of the way of. Others, not so much. I believe he cracked my ribs several times over, broke my arms three times, fractured my skull once, and broke my jaw. After five minutes of this, I collapsed from a broken leg and, after cursing under my breath, got back up.

I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of giving up. Not so soon, anyways. After two or three more skull fractures, maybe.

He waited until I stood back up, my leg healed enough for me to do so. I raised my arms in a defensive pose to shield my face and throat and waited.

"Enough. I've seen what you are capable of regarding Taijutsu. Sit."

I had enough control not to collapse, and sat down gently. While I wasn't physically tired, shockingly enough, I was beginning to feel some mental fatigue. The sharp pain from the breaks and fractures did hell on one's mental state. Especially when you could heal right up and experience it fresh again. You know what they say, it's the first cut that hurts most.

"Try and feel your chakra. Theoretically, you should have near infinite chakra, so I think it should be simple for you to contact it."

I nodded and closed my eyes, knowing that meditation was the easiest way to feel chakra from my reading earlier. I began trying to feel any sort of alien presence in my system.

I didn't feel anything.

After ten minutes of silent meditation, I opened my eyes and said, "Nothing. I can't feel anything abnormal in my body. Well, I think it would feel abnormal to me."

He began going through hand signs as he said, "Attempt to escape."

I didn't know what he meant until something immensely wrong seemed to fill my veins and an equally odd, but not altogether unpleasant, feeling pushed the wrong feeling back.

The Kakashi that began to turn into a demonic figure suddenly reverted back into his regular form and the wrong sensation was gone.

With it gone, I noticed that a rather sluggish feeling in my veins that hadn't been there before, I think. Whatever it was, I latched onto it and tried to keep a hold on it.

"I think I feel it. What did you do?"

"I put you in a Genjutsu. Apparently your chakra rose up and pushed it out as a defensive mechanism. It was a weak Genjutsu, so I am not sure if it will do this every time. I want you to focus in on that feeling and tell me what you can tell of it."

I closed my eyes and scrutinized the feeling. I had a mental image of a volcano. The lava was blue and bubbling slowly. I guessed that the stuff was my chakra and was shocked at the amount I felt. It felt as though there was even more below the surface, ready to use at a later time. But only after the amount in the volcano was used. Perhaps this is what it felt to have near infinite chakra. Now, if only I could use it.

I told Kakashi what I saw/felt and he stood.

"You have a lot of chakra. This will make your control very bad. Perhaps I should begin with a higher technique than the usual Academy three."

I waited while he thought and tried to mess with the chakra I could feel bubbling under my skin. I moved the fizzing feeling back and forth on my arm and nearly shivered at the sensation. It was like I had my own personal heater under my skin.

"I will ask the Hokage's opinion before I teach higher level jutsu. Stand and watch me."

I did as he said and he made the Ram seal with his hands.

"Bunshin no jutsu!" A perfect copy of himself appeared next to the original Kakashi.

"This is the clone technique. You make an intangible clone of yourself that can distract or confuse enemies." He then went on to explain that I had to focus my chakra into a specific shape, size, and color. He was a very direct and textbook teacher. I could have pulled out an instruction manual and followed along as he quoted from it.

I held my hands in the Ram seal, he corrected it slightly, and I tried to pump the sensation that I associated chakra with into the technique.

"Bunshin no jutsu!" A large amount of smoke, almost ten times the amount his clone emitted, appeared. When it cleared somewhat, my eye twitched when it found the large blob of flesh laying on the ground.

"Rather pathetic. The color of your skin and your left hand are the only things you managed to create correctly. Again."

The blob vanished in a puff of smoke and I tried again.

When the smoke cleared, I smiled and said, "Yes! Got both the legs!"

"It's the wrong color. Again."

I pouted internally for a moment before doing it again. I continued doing that same one technique for almost three full hours before Kakashi had me stop. I was honestly shocked by the amount of patience Kakashi held.

"Good enough for right now. The pupils are smudged and one of your ears are misshapen, but we will move on."

I got out of the Ram seal I had been in for the past hour and stood in a slightly more relaxed manner.

Before he could continue, I asked, "Can you teach me the Kage Bunshin no jutsu? I think it would be easier for me due to my large reserves. That is, if you know how to do it?"

He stared at me for a moment before suddenly dispelling in a puff of smoke.

"...it was a clone... the entire freaking time... sneaky bastard."

My eye twitched when I figured it out and I sighed. I was tempted to relax until he came back, if he came back. But I knew he would not appreciate it, and instead continued working on the Bunshin no jutsu.

By the time the Dog Masked Anbu agent came into the clearing an hour later, my Bunshin no jutsu was at near perfection.

Two of myself faced Kakashi and grinned.

A kunai flew straight into my shoulder, making me lose concentration and the Bunshin vanished.

I pulled the blade out with a wince and said, "What clued you to the real one?"

"The hair. Some strands were waving when there is no wind or body movement to cause them to do so. Otherwise, a few other minor things."

"Are you another Kage Bunshin?"

"No."

"Will you teach me that jutsu?"

"I will speak to Hokage-sama and confirm that it is allowed. Later. We are done with training for today. I suggest you practice the Bunshin no jutsu until you can create at least three perfect copies. When you can do that, I will consider teaching you the Kage Bunshin no jutsu. Be here at 1:00 tomorrow." He departed with that challenge and I knew what I had to do.

I nodded and put my hands together in the Ram seal. I noticed how the sky was beginning to darken and sighed.

"This is going to be a long night. Bunshin no jutsu!"

* * *

The only reason I had been able to continue training last night was because of the full moon and the light it gave off for me to see my attempts. That, along with my near literal infinite reserves and immense desire to learn the Kage Bunshin no jutsu, allowed me to keep on going.

It helped that I did not feel any physical fatigue that the lack of sleep would have normally brought on. I saw that the sun had risen somewhat in the sky and decided that a break was well deserved.

It was early in the morning. Around six or seven AM if I guessed correctly. As I was just walking around, seeing the sights, I noticed a clan sign that I knew on sight.

It resembled a fan with a line curved through its middle. It was the sign of the Uchiha.

The sign was on the back of this black-haired lady and my eyes widened a little when I connected the dots.

The Uchiha massacre hadn't happened yet. Itachi hadn't slaughtered his clan and scarred Sasuke yet.

And I had the possible ability to change all that. I wasn't a baby, like in some stories I had read, and helpless to change the outcome. I was old enough and could actually provide proof that it would happen via a visit to a Yamanaka.

The question was: why should I?

It sounded cold and heartless,yes, but it was logical. I didn't know what would happen if I simply stopped the massacre. If I allowed it to happen, then I knew with some measure of certainty that I knew how the future would unfold.

I considered the pros and cons of each decision and unconsciously let my feet lead me without really thinking about it.

"Excuse me." I blinked and saw the smiling face of a man who was obviously a part of the Konoha Police Force. And thus, an Uchiha.

"Er- yes?"

"Why exactly are you wandering through the Uchiha district?" He was flanked by two other Uchiha. One was obviously hostile and glaring at me. The other seemed vaguely bored at the situation.

I blinked and looked around. What did you know. My feet had taken me into the very heart of the people's whose fates I was pondering. Just perfect. Guilt tripping much? And by my own feet!

"Sorry. I was just walking around and got lost on my train of thought. I'll be on my way," I waved my hand as I turned around and realized that I had no clue where to go.

I rubbed the back of my head and said, "I hate to be a bother, again, but would you give me directions to get out of here?"

The angry member of their group suddenly activated his Sharingan and fixed them on me. I froze and wondered what I had done to piss him off.

"Follow this street until you see the house with the red flowers. Turn left there and it's a straight shot to the gates."

I nodded my thanks to the smiling one and began walking with a final backwards wave. Good riddance to that angry one. The smiling guy was friendly enough and the indifferent one was... indifferent. That made him okay in my book.

I found my way out if the district with little problem. There was the occasional glare from its inhabitants, but no other activated Sharingan like that other member had done.

This time I paid attention as I walked and shelved the massacre issue for a later time. If all else failed, I would give the Hokage some information he was bound to already know so as to tell him that I knew what was to come. If I held back information like this and he found out, he wouldn't hesitate to seal me away and I knew this.

A glorious scent interrupted my thoughts and I inhaled deeply to try and pick up on as much of the smell as possible. Though I couldn't actually feel hunger, I knew that my stomach would be rumbling viciously if I was still alive.

I continued walking and found that the smell was getting stronger. Eventually, I saw a place that which was almost as well known as Naruto himself.

I smiled and pushed aside the hanging cloth as I walked in and took a seat.

The man, who looked to be leaning towards the elderly side, smiled and said, "Welcome to Ichiraku Ramen. What will you be having?"

I considered the options the menu presented and declared, "I think I will have Miso pork with extra eggs and pork, please."

"Coming right up. Ayame!"

A girl who looked to be around ten or eleven came from the door the led out back and smiled when she saw me.

"Miso pork with extra eggs and pork. You get the noodles, I'll handle the eggs and pork."

"Gotchya!"

I was surprised at how the man and his daughter worked so efficiently and found my ordered ramen sitting in front of me in no time.

I nodded my thanks to them and did something I never thought would ever actually have to be used in real like before.

"Itadakimasu!" I then broke the chopsticks for use and thanked my Otaku friends from my past life for teaching me how to use chopsticks properly.

Let's just say, it was some damn fine ramen.

As the last bit of the delicious broth went down my throat, I set the bowl down with a content sigh and said, "This is the best ramen I have consumed in my life." It wasn't a lie.

Teuchi smiled while Ayame beamed at the compliment and I asked, "So how much is it?"

Teuchi said, "This is your first time coming here, correct?"

I nodded in answer.

"Then the first bowl is on us, as a welcoming gift. We hope you please come again." I stood and bowed as I responded with, "I sure intend to. Hope you have a nice day."

I left the shop feeling contented. Even if I couldn't actually feel being full, the taste had been a nice experience.

I continued walking and found a sort of general store that sold a variety of things. I thought about what I had said to the clothing store shopkeeper and purchased a few pencils and some scrolls to draw on. Just for the heck of it, I also got some brushes and ink. Who knew, I might enjoy drawing with ink better than pencil? No hurt in trying it.

I had Anbu Bird, who replaced Anbu Bear at some point, point me back to where my apartment was and sat down at the table in my living room. I wasn't a half bad artist in my past life, so it only took about five or six tries before the picture in my head was recreated onto the scroll in near perfect detail. I finished a front view of the outfit I had in mind and worked on the sides and back so the guy would have plenty of detail to go off of.

I looked up at a nearby clock and saw that it was nearly 11:00 when I was finished putting all the specifications on the scroll, next to the pictures.

Once I finished that, I gathered almost half of the money the Hokage had given me and went back to the store I had visited before. He asked some questions about the materials I wanted to use, the colors, and other details before agreeing and setting a price.

I left the shop with a good deal of that money gone, but it was so worth it. I walked into a random flower shop and admired the flora within. I did this mostly to kill some time.

"Good afternoon," a man's voice came from behind me and I nodded at him with a smile before leaning in to sniff a purple flower that looked nice.

"That means indifference, if you are planning to get that for someone I would suggest something else."

The flower actually smelled kind of nice, despite its meaning.

"Thanks, but I'm just looking around. Don't have anyone to give flowers to quite yet. I'm kind of new to Konoha. The name is Connor. Your shop is very nice."

"Inoichi Yamanaka. Thank you, we work very hard to grow the finest flowers and herbal plants. What brings you to Konoha?"

I tensed up at his name, but a sneeze a moment later justified the reaction.

"I just sort of dropped in and now I'm here to stay."

Inoichi was interrupted by Anbu Bird who informed me that it was almost twelve.

I thanked him and apologized to Inoichi. "Sorry, Yamanaka-san. I must be off. I hope to speak to you some other time."

He waved as I left and I made my way to the training ground on my own. I was starting to learn some landmarks.

I expected to see the usual dog masked Anbu member waiting for me. Never in a thousand years did I expect to find what I did.

"Aha! You have finally arrived! You must be ready to fan your flames of YOUTH!"

It was Maito Guy. I was tempted to curse Murphy, but doubted he even existed in this universe. His thrice-damned laws, however, were most definitely here and in full swing.

My eye twitched at the sight of the green spandex wearing, Taijutsu prodigy, and youth enthusiast before me. And his eyebrows! The legends spoke true! They rivaled caterpillars in bushyness!

I gave a low bow and said, "I hope to learn much from you. But where is Anbu Dog, if I might ask?"

He grinned and said, "On a short mission. He asked me to take over your training while he is away. I am Maito Guy, Green Beast of Konoha!"

I grinned and shouted, "And I am Connor! He Who Was Impaled On Tree!"

Guy's grin flickered at the name, but said, "I can see you are quite Youthful about this! Let's get started with our Youthful warm-up! Twenty laps around the village sounds about right!"

My enthusiasm died around the second lap and was was going through rigor mortis on the fifth. Even though my physical energy didn't waver, and I felt no fatigue, it was demeaning to have him finish when I was on my sixth. Lifelong training notwithstanding.

He began keeping up with me, running on his hands, and asked, "Have you not learned how to use chakra to bolster your muscles?"

I nearly slapped myself in the head when he said that, but instead attempted to move the bubbling sensation to my leg muscles. I thanked him afterwards for that.

Energy coursed through me and I was soon done with my twentieth lap. It was indescribable how much stronger your muscles got once you applied chakra to them. I felt as though I could jump from building to building as easily as I walked. (Which, if everything went as planned, I would be doing.)

When we were finished with the run, Guy had me do one hundred push ups and three hundred tree punches. He corrected my punches when he found slight mistakes in my stance and form, but otherwise he hung from a tree and did curl ups.

Once I was done, and be completed his curl ups, he said (shouted), Now on to Taijutsu! I am going to attack slowly at first, then gain speed as we progress. You are to dodge as many as possible and attempt to hit back. Go!"

His punch came at normal, for me, speed and I managed to divert it to my right and retaliated with a straight punch, still at normal speed.

I dodged it and attempted a kick to his ribs. He simply grabbed my leg. His hand didn't even move back when he did.

"It is a bad idea to give a sloppy kick to a tougher opponent. After this, we will improve by doing one-thousand side kicks!"

I hopped away, pulling my leg with me and I decided to do something incredibly stupid.

"And if I cannot do that! I will do five-hundred push-ups!"

He grinned and pumped his fist. "Yes! Why don't we start that right now?"

My grin faltered and I nodded, cursing my attempt to be funny.

* * *

An hour and a half. That's how long it took to do one-thousand side kicks. Five-hundred for each leg. At the end of it, both my legs were numb and I was taking a short break while Guy did a few hundred more. I didn't know that humans could dent freaking wood with their legs after only ten or so kicks!

His leg warmers slipped and I saw that he was wearing weights underneath.

"Yo, Guy-sensei!"

He paused in his kicks to look over at me.

"Can you point me to a place that sells weights? I think those are my best chance at improving the fastest while still working hard."

His smile increased and he said, "Of course! I will show you there myself! Let's go!"

I didn't realize he had grabbed my arm and was running until one of my arms hit a tree and broke with an audible snapping sound. I guess it was a mistake to get him so excited. Now I know.

He immediately stopped and I winced at the stinging pain. I focused on straightening my glasses, which had been jolted, to ignore the brief pain. I also turned my body to hide the healing appendage.

"Connor! I-I didn't mean-"

I raised my good hand and said, "Relax. I'll be fine. How about you lead the way, and I'll follow?"

"But- your arm!"

"It's okay," I held it up and waved it back and forth to show its unbroken state.

"It sounded worse than it really was. So let's go." I was really not wanting him to find out about my 'condition' if he did, he would probably pull out all the stops. Let him think what he wanted, but don't let it lead to even more insane training!

He turned after a moment and began running at a pace I could follow, with chakra enhancements. He stayed on the ground and weaved around and over various obstacles and people. I left apologies in our wake to a few who were startled by our passage. Most ninja roof-jumped, so we were a little unexpected.

Guy brought me to the shop he bought most of his Shinobi supplies from, including his weights. He managed to get me a good deal on a pair of weights that fit snug around my arms and shins. They were controlled by seals and had a maximum weight of three hundred pounds each.

Guy currently wore some that were five hundred each. And they were maxed out. I was beginning to doubt that he was even human.

I spent the last of the money I had with me, which was half of the amount the Hokage had given me, to get those weights.

After fixing them so they put twenty pounds of weight on each limb, we exited the shop and spoke outside.

"Thank you, Guy-sensei. I would not have been able to afford them if you did not vouch for me." I gave a low bow to the teenager, who was about the same height as Kakashi, before straightening.

Guy was in his 'Good-Guy' Pose with his thumb raised and arm extended towards me. His teeth gave off a gleam despite the sun being at his back, I swear it by all that is shiny.

"I am glad to have helped you, Connor! Shall we re-"

"I'll take him from here, Guy." I jumped slightly at the new voice and saw Kakashi with his Anbu mask approaching us.

"Anbu-sensei." I bowed in greeting. Wow, there was a lot of bowing in this culture.

"I have gained permission to teach you the jutsu requested. Meet me tomorrow. Same time." He was revealed to be a Kage Bunshin a moment later when he turned into white smoke.

"So hip," I heard Guy mutter before I looked back at him.

"I have to ask, is he always that professional? Or is it the mask?"

He frowned. "He has been very standoff-ish lately. But he has always been a closed individual. Do you feel well enough to train some more?" He gave a glance to my 'broken' arm, still not buying that I was okay.

"I actually want to train with the Bunshin no jutsu. Anbu-sensei says I have to make three perfect clones for him to teach me the Kage Bunshin no jutsu."

Guy's face showed his surprise at my words like an open book.

"That is a very useful, and costly, jutsu. Are you sure you should learn it?"

I couldn't blame his caution. The only reason Naruto could spam the Kage Bunshin no jutsu was because of his enormous chakra reserves, courtesy of the Kyuubi. I just hoped I would be the same.

"Don't worry. I have big chakra reserves. And anyways, I need that in order to learn as quickly as possible. I can train my body while my clones train my mind."

Guy couldn't argue when I brought some passion of Taijutsu into the equation, and wished me the best of luck with another 'Good-Guy' Pose.

I went back to the training ground and practiced the Bunshin no jutsu. I didn't stop as the sun left the sky and the moon was my companion before bidding me goodbye.

* * *

I was there when Kakashi flickered into view and saw a group of eight copies of me looking at him.

"The one to your direct right is missing a fingernail. Two are missing glasses. One has a crack on the frame of its glasses. The rest are acceptable." Three exactly!

I pumped my fist and dispelled the clones.

"So have I earned the right to learn the technique?"

"You have. Watch closely." He held his fingers in a seal and forcefully said, "Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" A puff of smoke later had a copy of the masked Kakashi next to the original. I reached out to poke the Kage Bunshin, but he slapped my finger away. Yup. Tangible Bunshin.

"My hands go like this?" I held my fingers in the cross seal and the clone silently fixed my mistakes.

"Here it goes. Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" I felt a good deal of chakra flow out of me and a enormous explosion of smoke filled the general area.

We had to wait for it to clear to see the perfect copy standing next to me, holding a katana bristling with electricity and emitting a dragon made of purple fire that put Amaterasu to shame.

Yeah, no. It was about as successful as Naruto's attempt at the Bunshin no jutsu in his graduation exam. A dead looking clone twitched on the ground and I twitched in sympathy. He looked like crap.

"Dispel and try again." I wasn't sure how to remotely dispel tangible Bunshin, so I kicked it into dispelling. Thankfully, I didn't get that one's memories. They must only come when I do it properly.

I tried again. This one didn't look as dead, but still pathetic.

"Again."

And so I kept on going.

* * *

It took three weeks before I made a Kage Bunshin correctly.

 _Three. **Weeks**!_

It had taken Naruto an hour! I felt mild disappointment at how I would be outdone by a kid in the future, but felt jubilation at my success. At least I was able to learn a few other, minor, jutsu as I attempted the Kage Bunshin no jutsu. Kakashi had begun to teach me tree walking, and exactly three trees had fallen from my explosive overuse of chakra before he gave some advice. Only one more fell after that. Progress!

The moment I succeeded with creating two clones at once, I was called to the Hokage's office.

"Good evening, Hokage-sama."

"Evening, Connor-kun." It still felt odd to have that honorific attached to my name. Kakashi never bothered with honorifics when it came to me and Guy probably didn't call me that because of my age.

"Why did you summon me?"

He smiled at the question and said, "I have heard good things about your progress. You recently performed the Kage Bunshin no jutsu correctly, right?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Can I see a demonstration?"

"Of course. Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"

Two Connors appeared and bowed to Sarutobi.

"Has my suggestion regarding this technique helped in your battle against paperwork?"

He gave a wide smile and nodded. "I thank you for your suggestion and task you to speak up if you have any other tactics to aid me."

I grinned and began to speak.

"No, Katon jutsu do not count. My secretary has assured me of this." It was funny how a great leader like him could have a pouting face.

I snapped my fingers. "Well drat. Alas, I have no other methods to help you except the suggestion that the more Kage Bunshin, the better."

He chuckled and nodded. "I will keep that in mind. Now, let's get back to why I called you here."

I straightened and the extra Connors dispelled themselves.

"I think you are ready to take on the responsibilities of a Konoha Shinobi." He opened a drawer and place a headband on his desk, the leaf symbol denoting its origin facing me.

"Do you, Connor, swear your allegiance to Konohagakure? To perform the duties assigned to you as a Shinobi loyally, and to the best of your ability. To uphold the Will of Fire until the agreement you have made comes to completion, and even beyond, if you decide."

I bent down on one knee and gave my answer. "I agree to all the conditions you have put before me and swear my allegiance to Konohagakure."

"Then take your hitai-ate and wear it with pride."

I took it from Hiruzen's extended hand and tied it around my head, taking great pleasure when I pulled the knot holding it up tight. My efforts had borne fruit, after so much work.

"You are now a Shinobi of Konoha. Congratulations. From now on, you will have to take on missions and earn your income through that."

I changed my expression to a overly dramatic face of mourning and groaned, "Ugh, wooorrk. The horror!"

Sarutobi chuckled at my antics and said, "Remember your own advice when you take on the D-Ranked missions." I brightened after that and nodded with a grin.

"Thanks, Sarutobi-sama. I will take them on eagerly. Though will I continue to learn from Anbu-sensei and Guy-sensei?"

"From Anbu Dog, no. He has requested that he be transferred back into the mission roster as soon as you no longer require his tutelage." I couldn't help but frown a bit at that. Had I been that bad of a student? I learn pretty fast and never truly wavered. Perhaps the occasional joke and quip I let out had irked him?

"As for Guy-kun. As long as he is in the village, there is nothing stopping you from sparring with him. I've never known him to say no to anyone who asks to spar or train. Then again, I've never known anyone to ask more than once." My mouth quirked up in a smile at that and couldn't blame them. Only my ability to regenerate all wounds, and near endless stamina, allowed me to somewhat keep up with Guy's insane methods. I was glad I could gain muscle and improve in the physical department. I wasn't sure if reanimated people normally could do that, but hey, I wasn't complaining.

"Understood. I will keep that in mind. I do not know when I will see Anbu-san again, so please thank him for his tutelage when you see him again."

"I will. Also, remember to get your registration papers from my secretary outside. Bring it to me directly and we will worry about your registration picture some other time. Good evening, Connor-kun."

"Good evening, Hokage-sama." I left the tower after grabbing the papers and headed to the clothing shop I had been to before. I managed to arrive there a few minutes before he closed up.

"Here you are, sir. Five sets, as requested. Would you like to try them on in the back?"

I examined them, making sure everything was perfect.

"That will not be necessary. I have enough trust in the measurements you took and your expertise."

He smiled at the compliments I doled out and bowed. "It has been a pleasure doing business with you. Please come back if there are any problems that you have with those or if you need anything else."

I smiled and picked up the pile of clothes. "I sure will. Good evening."

I made my way home and set my new clothes in the dresser in my room next to the others, regular, clothes I had bought to wear under my new custom made clothes. After admiring them for a minute more, I did the paperwork I had been given. Once I was done, I immediately went to sleep to make the next day come faster. I was ready to begin my Shinobi career.

* * *

So this was the description and minor training chapter. I'm going to say again, Connor is NOT a Gary-Stue. Next chapter will cement that for certain. I will also introduce the clothing Connor has had made for himself. Let's just say, it's from a popular game series in real life (Not Naruto) and leave it until the next chapter. Needless to say, I'm excited to tell you all. And I do not think I will set a specific amount of reviews this time, as I had to rush to finish this chapter when I saw I had reached five. Though let it be said that I meet my own deadline.

What is your opinions on how Kakashi taught Connor? Did I do well in how Kakashi interacted with him and all? I'm just about certain he was still in Anbu(though I'm probably wrong) at this time. Please tell me if it is otherwise.

Last thing, I wish to thank whoever put my story in the community, **The Archive for Self Inserts and Original Characters.** It's always an honor to be added to a community.

Any and all suggestions, questions, or remarks are welcome via review or PM. Until next chapter!


	3. The Pond is Disturbed

Edo Tensei: My Resurrection chap 3

LONGEST CHAPTER YET! Sorry for the wait everyone. I hope you all enjoy Connor's outfit. Anyone who wishes to make artwork of it, I will most definitely put it as this story's cover and be extremely honored.

Disclaimer: As I am not Kishimoto, I do not own Naruto. Get it?

* * *

The Pond is Disturbed

Chapter 3

My reactions had gotten so good that the accursed clock only had to ring once for my hand to lash out and silence it.

After a moment to let my mind wake up, I jumped out of bed and donned my new clothes with more delight than clothes had ever caused me to feel before. Once everything was on, I created a clone and had it look over me before dispelling.

"Damn! I look good!" I smiled as the memories came to me.

I wore something that came straight out of a Kingdom Hearts game. The Oragnization XIII coat. It had minor modifications made to it, such as the pockets being slanted instead of horizontal and pushed more to the sides as opposed to towards the front.

The black was also changed to a dark gray color. I liked how it was normally black, but the change to gray just called to me. There was no chain forming a semi-circle hanging in the middle and the hood's silver bead strings were simple strings that could be tucked out of the way, but it was still amazing. The zipper was still silver, but was treated to be non-reflective so it wouldn't give away my position.

The most amazing thing was that it was still made of leather, but he made it in such a way that air was allowed to flow freely. No burning alive in the sun for this guy!

I tried walking around in it, to get the feel of how it moved. I couldn't be sure with just walking, but I felt as though it wouldn't hinder my movement too much. Seeing as the Nobodies had done acrobatic movements galore, I didn't think it would be an issue.

I pulled the hood over my head and looked into a mirror. My grin would be unseen from any other angle than straight on as the hood perfectly covered my features. I wondered how I would look if I began wearing a mask like Kakashi's, but threw the idea away. That would become suffocating after awhile. And anyways, to anyone who didn't know me, I would be an ominous figure even without the addition of the mask.

I studied my glasses and considered getting prescription shades. I had always liked Shino Aburame's glasses, though mine were more rectangular shaped than circular.

I finished getting ready and left at the ripe time of 7:00. What can I say, I liked being punctual. I would probably get along with Sasori of the Akatsuki in that regard. That is, if he didn't turn me into a puppet first. Could I be a puppet if I couldn't die?

I made it to the Hokage tower and presented my papers to Hiruzen. His reaction to when I first entered his office was one I burned into my memory for when I needed a good laugh.

"Connor-kun. What are you wearing?"

"This is something from my world. These great warriors known as Nobodies wore these coats and I have always admired them. So, I decided to have some made with minor modifications." Of course, they came from a fictional world, but he didn't need to know that.

Hiruzen blinked like he was storing the information for later.

"At some point, I want to ask a few questions about your world. Perhaps over some tea?"

So he was looking at an informal meeting. No T&I or expected 'Yes, Hokage-sama'.

"I look forward to it and will do my best to answer all your questions. Will I receive my first mission now?"

He stopped examining my clothing and searched through some scrolls that were set out on his desk.

"Here's one that all new Genin get. Your mission is to capture and return to this office the high value target known as..." his pause added dramatic flair that I wanted to hit him for. Just spit it out damn it!

"Tora, the fire Daiymo's wife's cat."

I blinked and scowled even as I caught the mission scroll.

"Was there really a need for the dramatic pause?"

"Absolutely. This is an unofficial right of passage for Genin. We're all eager to see how you do. The mission specifications are in the scroll. Good luck."

I bowed and could have sworn I heard one of the hidden Anbu in Hiruzen's office bet him I would come back with my new clothes ruined. Jerk.

I was glad that Hiruzen accepted the bet, but grumbled quietly when he said I would come back with only minor scratches. I would show them! I had come up with an ingenious plan that was the fruit of hours of planning and deliberation. I had planned to let some other poor Genin use the trick, but when my pride was on the line, appropriate measures had to be taken.

I arrived at the location I visited before and met a blond haired woman at the counter. "Hello, welcome to the Yamanaka Flower shop. How may I help you?"

"Do you sell catnip?"

"Of course. How many stalks of it would you like?"

"Three, please."

"Pleasure doing business with you. Please come again."

I exited the business and smiled.

"Tora the Cat, you have met your match!" I ignored the uncomfortable stares from villagers who stared at the odd hooded figure muttering to himself and instead created three Kage Bunshin. I just shoved more chakra into the technique to get the extra one.

"Dispel the moment you see Tora if you cannot subdue. Remember the pink bow on the head."

They all saluted me and we separated. I ran atop the roofs and kept an eye to the ground. Half an hour into the search, the memories from one of my Kage Bunshin came to me.

I flinched when I remembered that Tora had scratched one of the eyes of my Kage Bunshin. Vicious feline.

I ran as fast as I could to the location my Kage Bunshin had dispelled and saw the cat hissing at me at the back of the alley I dropped into.

I confirmed the pink bow on the cat's head and said to myself, "Target confirmed. Intercepting." The two Kage Bunshin hiding nearby waited at the mouth of the alley.

My hand pulled out the catnip I had purchased and I waved it around to spread the scent. After a moment, it began to take affect. Tora's posture became less hostile and she came purring into my arms. I saw that this Tora wasn't like the one in the show. It made sense. It was doubtful that the Tora that Team 7 would capture would turn out to be the same Tora I held. The Fire Daiymo's wife probably just named all the cats she owned Tora.

And all of them ran away from her. Go figures.

"Mission complete, Hokage-sama." I held the still calm feline in my arms, petting her softly as I waited for Hiruzen to pick his jaw back up.

"How did you manage it?"

I smiled and said, "It wasn't hard. She's actually pretty tame."

"She's nearly put out the eyes of three separate Shinobi and has caused eight other Shinobi to have to visit the hospital to take care of vicious clawing. She is **not** tame."

I shrugged lightly and turned to the client, who entered the room, and handed the cat to her. I felt sorry for the cat when she came down from her catnip high. You know what they say. Nip's a helluva drug. Thankfully, the fire Daiymo's wife didn't seem to notice that her cat was somewhat high, and I received my pay without an issue.

"Any other feline retrieval missions, Hokage-sama?" I allowed myself just a tiny bit of a smug smile to show.

"No. Though there is a job for walking the Inuzuka dogs while another team cleans the pen?"

I shook my head vigorously and said, "I would rather another, if there is anything else. It wouldn't be wise for me to go around dogs, no matter how smart, smelling like a cat."

I had a feeling he knew this as he seemed disappointed when I denied the mission. Who knew he could be so sadistic? I felt no pity for him, as he betted against me. A poor mistake.

Eventually, I got a job weeding an older woman's garden. I created six Kage Bunshin and we had the garden finished in no time. I had found out that, thus far, my limit for the Kage Bunshin no jutsu was six at one time. If I waited for roughly half a minute for my infinite back up reserves to fill up my usable chakra, I could create six more. So while I would probably never be able to spam hundreds at once, like Naruto could, they still helped tremendously in learning and other tasks.

I knocked on the door of the elderly woman's house and waited until she opened it.

"I am finished. Is it satisfactory?" I made sure to be at my most professional, whenever possible, when talking to the clients.

She leaned out and looked at the three areas that held various plants and nodded with a smile.

"Well done. I've never had a whole Genin team get that done so quickly. Let alone a single Genin working alone."

I smiled and bowed. "Thank you. Is that all you need?"

"Yes, thank you. You can go now. I know how much youngsters are always in a hurry."

I scowled without any heat behind it and said, "Oh, never group me with the regular youngsters. I'm not that boring."

"I can tell." She looked pointedly at my clothes, probably wondering how I stood being in such dress in the warm weather. At least I kept the hood down as to not intimidate the clients.

I bid my goodbye to the woman and had my clones head to the library to read on new techniques I could work on. Though Kage Bunshin were basically free for me, it felt like such a waste to not let them do something more before dispelling. Making the most of their existence, I suppose.

I confirmed the mission's completion back at the Hokage tower and collected my pay. After storing the new cash back at my apartment, I went back to the training ground and spent most of the day training.

* * *

Honestly, five months go by in a blur when you get into a routine. I did an average of two to four D-ranked missions every day, except on Sundays. That was the one day I allowed myself to relax and take a, minor, break from training.

I had spent the months nearly constantly training. Many times, I trained with Guy. He taught me the Shunshin no jutsu (Body Flicker technique) and helped me with mastering the Kawarimi no Jutsu (replacement technique). (He did this by forcing me to get the heck out of the way of his attacks, or be smashed like the log I hopefully swapped with.) Needless to say, I became proficient with the Kawarimi very quickly.

It took me awhile to learn hand seals and even longer to force my hands to weave them together quickly enough to use in mock combat. It just felt so weird that making your fingers contort into unnatural shapes would allow you to breath fire or create copies of yourself in moments.

I had a small wardrobe of my Organization XIII coats made, as I found out quickly that clothes got worn and torn fast in the Shinobi life. I also decided to sow little pockets on the inside of my sleeves to conceal kunai along with my more visible kunai pouch attached to my hip.

The final addition I made to my coats ended up in me using up four months worth of D-ranked mission's pay. I bought a book on Fuinjutsu. Books on such a badly understood art were rare, and thus, expensive as all get out.

I used the knowledge in the book to create storage seals in my kunai pouch, on the inside of my coat, and in the pockets of my coat. With all the weaponry I stored in a single coat, I probably would make Tenten drool in envy. I also learned how to make minor explosive tags, but used those more sparingly. Ink, especially ink specially made to be chakra conductive, was expensive. I could use my blood, and did now and again. It was just a pain to constantly have to cut myself in order to drip into the inkwell.

One tactic I decided on using in the future involved the explosive tags. It was quite simple. It comprised of three simple steps.

Step one: Cover self in explosive tags after removing coat (because buying clothes every time I use the tactic would add up fast).

Step two: Hug opponent. Snarky comment optional, but suggested.

Step three: **Boom**. Then regenerate and repeat if necessary.

I hadn't had a chance to test it in-village yet, as the explosive force it would create might bring people running even if it was a training area.

It was in the fifth or sixth month that I received my first ever C-Ranked mission. The reason I hadn't asked for one before was because I wanted to gain some skill before leaving the village.

"Delivering a message to Suna?"

"Yes, Connor-kun. I will assign two Chunin as teammates on this assignment. You simply have to go to Suna, make sure the Kazekage gets the package, then return. Do you accept?"

It really wasn't a question. At my rank, you only got to really choose on D-Ranked missions. Anything higher would be an insult to attempt to change.

"Yes, Hokage-sama. When do we leave and who are my teammates?"

"You will meet at the west gate at 7:30 tomorrow morning. Your teammates include Hideaki Uchiha and Katsuo Haruno."

I made no visible reaction, but was surprised at how I recognized both their surnames. I just prayed that Katsuo didn't have pink hair. I wouldn't be able to hold back remarks about it if he did.

"Understood, Hokage-sama." I bowed and left the office. After that, I created six clones and had them go to the library. I created another group of six and had them go and practice the small arsenal of jutsu I currently possessed until they ran out of chakra.

I myself went back home and prepared for the mission. I had already prepared plenty of supplies in three separate scrolls. Each seal had whatever it contained written above it to avoid having to rummage through all the seals available.

I checked and re-checked my seals and supplies until I was satisfied. I then spent the rest of the day and a decent portion of the night reading the book on Fuinjutsu and writing more explosive tags.

* * *

I arrived at the west gate at exactly 7:15 and sat on a nearby bench to wait for my teammates. Seeing no black haired guy with a scowl on his face, or any pink haired people, I waited. It would have helped to know what they looked like.

"You are Connor?" And of course they would know me.

I looked to my right at the, thankfully brown haired, guy who was sitting next to me. He looked to be around seventeen or so.

"I am. Katsuo Haruno, I presume?"

"Yup. Nice to be working with you."

"Likewise. Do you know where our last teammate is?"

"If you had been on your guard, you might have noticed me sooner." A stoic voice spoke up from the left of me and I held back the obligatory eye roll. He looked to be around the same age as Katsuo.

"Hideaki Uchiha?"

"Yes. Connor and Katsuo Haruno?"

"Correct. Shall we proceed?"

He nodded and walked towards the gate with me and Katsuo following a little behind.

Hideaki took care of talking to the gate guards, and I did not miss how the guards were particularly crisp to the point of being almost hostile to the Uchiha. It hadn't been the first time that week I had seen someone being rude to an Uchiha. Tensions between the Uchiha and the village were slowly rising as the months passed. There had been several instances where I had been mistaken as an Uchiha due to my black hair. Each time had nit been very pleasant.

"Let's go," Katsuo said, nudging my arm when he saw that I didn't move at first. I really needed to stop getting lost in thought.

"Yeah." I took my first steps out of the village and felt... absolutely zilch. It wasn't that different from leaving a city in my past life.

By some unspoken signal, Hideaki began running and we followed behind at the same speed. He went at a decent pace, but seemed a bit slow to me.

"If you're worried about the Genin not being able to keep up, don't be. I'll tell you if you start going too fast for me to keep up."

Hideaki heard my words and noticeably sped up. I kept up with some effort, having to push chakra into my muscles more so than usual to do so.

"So why do you wear that coat? I've never seen one like that." Katsuo asked the question I had been waiting for and I noticed that Hideaki gave off an air of mild interest.

"This is the coat that powerful warriors wore, back where I come from. I liked the style, so I changed it a little and had some made for myself."

Hideaki's attention was officially captured at that.

"What kind of warrior would wear that?"

It was impossible to miss the contempt his voice barely attempted to conceal, but I didn't react to it.

"The kind who are able to sense the darkness people's hearts, conjure weaponry from nothingness, and travel between dimensions with very little effort. While I doubt I will be able to do the last one, the first two are just a matter of time."

Okay, so I embellished them a little bit. I wanted to paint a picture to shut Hideaki's know-it-all attitude down. In truth, I doubted I could ever learn any of the things I stated, but I wouldn't hesitate to at least try.

"Travel between dimensions? That sounds like an incredible technique. Where could they travel?"

Dear lord, Katsuo was buying this! At least, he seemed to be. Hideaki may or may not have believed my tales.

"Off the top of my head, they went to all different kinds of places. Halloweentown, Neverland, Agrabah, Monstro, Cave of Wonders, Pleasure Island, Atlantica, Castle Oblivion, Castle That Never Was, Hollow Bastion-" I kept listing the places for almost three minutes more as we ran. I was surprised at how well I remembered the locations of the game series I hadn't played in so long.

"How can a castle never ' _be_ '?"

"That's where the Nobodies lived."

"So?"

"Duh, a place where people who shouldn't exist should not also ' _Be_ '. Get it?"

Their silence, one confused and the other disgusted, gave me much pleasure. Ah, the joys of screwing around with people's heads. If only I could get some Genjutsu down. Then things would get really fun.

"Hold up." Hideaki said and slowed down until he stopped.

"What's the issue?"

"Seven men. Low level. Hiding ahead in underbrush. 100 meters."

I wondered how he knew about them until I looked at his eyes and noticing the activated Sharingan.

"Hostile?"

"We should presume."

"What's our options?" Katsuo asked while his hands twitched towards his kunai pouch.

Hideaki began to speak, but I interrupted him.

"I need the experience. If they are bandits or something, we should probably deal with them before they become a problem for some other team."

Hideaki saw my point and nodded.

"Very well. Proceed as you will."

I took a breath to clear my mind and put my hood over my head. Oddly enough, the hood helped my mind get into what I dubbed as my 'Battle Mode'.

I walked ahead for about fifty meters while Hideaki and Katsuo followed at a slower pace.

I stopped and shouted, "If you're bandits, then hurry up! I'm getting bored!"

I sidestepped the bolt that was sent my way with ease and began walking forward with kunai in each hand.

"Six men burst out from the bushes on both sides of the path and let out war cries as they ran at me.

Honestly, I pitied them a little. Guy is so much faster than those civilians-turned-bandits.

I summoned up four other Kage Bunshin and rushed forward alongside them. I chose my target; a burly man with a spiked club.

He swung at me and I ducked under the attack and jumped forward, arm extended to push the kunai into his throat. At the last second, I hesitated and buried the blade into the arm holding the club. He screamed and I knocked him out with the back of the kunai.

I felt a sharp pain come from my left shoulder blade and berated myself for forgetting the last guy in the heat of the fight.

I turned and deflected the next bolt as a Kage Bunshin came up from behind me and pulled the bolt out of my back. I barely noticed at the time.

The last man, who wielded a crossbow, shot a bolt off at the same time the shuriken left my hand. Only I hit what I aimed for and the last man gripped bis throat in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding.

Everything was silent aside from one man groaning and I barked out, "Report!"

One Kage Bunshin came up and said, "All enemies put down. Three dead, three unconscious, and one bleeding heavily and conscious."

I nodded and had them dispel. The memories of the two other killing blows and single possibly fatal blow rushed through my head and my mind automatically organized the thoughts.

"Are you hurt?" Katsuo and Hideaki had approached without me noticing, and Katsuo was the one looking worried. I turned to make sure they didn't notice the small hole and even smaller amount of blood that had time to dribble out of it. I was probably unsuccessful.

"No. What should be done with them?"

"We will inform the nearest town of their defeat and let them decide," Hideaki said dispassionately. It was beyond obvious that he could care less.

I nodded and helped tie up the last three living ones, the conscious man had died of blood loss.

We began walking and I was silently thankful that they were giving me some time to absorb my recent actions. It took a silent staring contest between the two Chunin before the Uchiha backed down.

In all honesty, I wasn't sure how to feel. On the surface, I didn't feel much at all. No guilt or pleasure. They had come at me with the intention to kill or maim, so I retaliated in self-perseverance. End of story.

But at the same time, shouldn't I be horrified at taking a person's life? Uneasy, at the very least? The only worry I truly felt was at how my morals didn't seem to be piping up at all.

The walking pace we were keeping suddenly felt like a gigantic waste of time.

"We can continue at our original pace, if you wish," I said to the two Chunin who stood a little ways to my right and left.

We sped up until we were back at our original speed before the encounter. For the rest of the day, we ran in silence. I created a Kage Bunshin to send to a small town we were passing next to in order to report the bandits so we were not forced to slow down.

We made camp a few miles from River Country. The plan was to pass through River Country in the morning and make camp close to the Sand/River boundary. The trip, in total, would take roughly 3 days if we pushed it a little.

I volunteered for first watch when the topic came up and Katsuo gave me a worried look.

"Relax. I've mostly come to terms with it. I'll wake you two up if anything gets close."

I created a total of eight Kage Bunshin (not all at once) and had them conceal themselves in various locations a little ways away the camp so they made a rough circular shape.

Katsuo bid me goodnight while Hideaki went to sleep without another word.

I sat myself a few yards from the two of them and tried to relax a little. Not to the point of being unaware, just so the hard ground under me wasn't too uncomfortable. We hadn't bothered with a fire with the weather comfortably warm, so I sat in near total darkness.

I watched as the moon rose and admired the stars that adorned the sky. When the moon was in roughly the correct spot, I went over to Katsuo and shook his shoulder gently. He woke up in an instant and I grabbed the fist before it could hit my chest.

He gave me a slightly embarrassed look and I waved my hand to tell him to not sweat it. I gestured at my sleeping bag and he nodded. I crawled into it and went to sleep as Katsuo took my position at watch.

* * *

The rest of the mission went as planned. We got up bright and early, had no trouble crossing the border of River Country, and stopped for the night at an inn in River. The next day, we reached Sunagakure and delivered the package to some man who served as a sort of secretary for the Kazekage. We spent the night in Suna and left the next day. Nothing of note happened in Suna, as we stayed in an inn that was prepared for us the whole time.

The journey back took two days, as we decided to run through the night when we were back in Fire Country.

The three of us stood before Hiruzen and Hideaki gave a summary of how the mission went.

Once Hideaki finished, Hiruzen nodded.

"Very good. Hideaki, Katsuo, you are dismissed."

They bowed to him and left the room.

"How are you feeling, Connor-kun?"

"I came to terms with my actions soon after performing them. I understand that being a Shinobi involves killing others."

Sarutobi's expression didn't change, but it felt as though he was analyzing me.

"Very well." I sensed a change in topic at that. "Anbu." The two Anbu members that were a constant in the Hokage's office, appeared. They exited the room and Hiruzen activated some sort of security seal. Once he did, his face seemed to age a bit and I could tell he was weary.

"Do you know if the tensions with the Uchiha will cool down?"

It was that time.

"May I sit?" I gestured to a spare chair that was nearby and he gave consent with a nod.

I sat and sighed. This was going to be an unpleasant conversation.

"No. The tensions will not cool. I do not know if they have begun, but in six or so years, the Uchiha will plan a coup against Konoha."

Hiruzen could have been made of stone with how he froze to my words.

"You are certain of this."

" _Very_."

"How do I prevent it?"

"In what I've seen, you have an Anbu monitor the Uchiha from the inside and report the clan's actions and plans. In this version, aside from two members, the clan is slaughtered."

Hiruzen paused and rubbed his head for a moment with a sigh.

"Do you know of any way to stop this from happening?"

I thought for a moment before committing myself.

"Danzo. He orders the massacre when the Uchiha seem beyond reasoning with. Do not let him be a pivotal member in counseling you in the matter and there is a slight chance it might be averted."

Hiruzen's mouth was in a grim line at my words, but he nodded.

"I will take this information into account. Is there anything else you have not told me that is important?"

I thought and said, "I am not sure when, but during some negotiations with Kumo, they will attempt to kidnap Hinata Hyuuga for her Byakugon. They will fail, but due to the ambassador being killed, Kumo demands reparations. The clan leader's brother will die in place of whoever the clan leader is at the time. While this is not a point that would save or destroy the village if changed, it would make life much easier if it was stopped."

"We are currently at odds with Kumo. Are you saying they will consider negotiating in the future?"

"I am. And if you somehow create a way where the ambassador doesn't get killed, you might make the negotiations bear fruit. This, however, is simply speculation. I can't be certain of the results." I just couldn't remember whether the treaty had worked out or not.

"You have given me much to think about. Please tell me there is nothing more?"

"Well, do you know the three students Jiraiya-sama taught long ago? The ones that died?"

He blinked in surprise at the seemingly abrupt change in subject.

"I know about them. Why?"

"Your student will be happy to know that they are still alive. Well, at least two of them are. One might be dead, but I can't be certain about that. I'm not sure of exactly when he dies. It's according to how the current political system is right now over there, but as I said, I can't be sure."

Hiruzen twitched and said, "I- I will inform Jiraiya-kun of this. Is-"

"Nothing I can think of right now. Your heart can get some rest, Hokage-sama."

"Very well." He disabled the security seal and waved for the door, seeming too tired to even give me a proper dismissal despite it still being morning.

I collected the C-Rank mission's pay and headed home. My mind was tired and I wanted to rest.

Despite it being completely unnecessary, I spent the rest of the day sleeping.

* * *

I began taking on more C-Ranked missions until my C-Ranks neared the same number as my D-Ranks. I even took one or two B-Ranks out of curiosity and found that I was pretty good at them. One of them was an assassination mission that messed me up for a few weeks. The guy had been a civilian. A part of the mafia, yes, but a civilian nonetheless. I literally plastered an explosive note to his back without him noticing and blew him up along with a warehouse full of illegal drugs.

It was horrifyingly _easy_. It hadn't even been a challenge. I tended to avoid B-Ranks unless the Hokage asked me asked/ordered me to do them specifically. Any missions he sent me on alone or with Jounin teammates always turned out to be suicide missions. More than one warehouse or building has gone up in a fiery explosion when a henged Kage Bunshin or the original me went in covered in explosive tags. Those were never pleasant.

It was about two months after I had told Sarutobi about the Uchiha, the Hyuuga, and Jiraiya's students. I was walking down the street, extremely bored. When I turned a corner, I felt something painfully solid, yet surprisingly squishy, slam into my chest and I was in a compact space that smelled incredibly bad a moment later.

A few minutes of a sensation that felt much like tree hopping later had me being upchucked by the amphibian I had been kidnapped by.

Wow... that sounds so bad... being kidnapped by a frog-er toad. Whatever.

I was on my hands and knees, trying to breath in as much fresh air as possible. I had taken a single breath before I forced myself to stop breathing and the incredibly bad smelling air was still in my lungs. Ugh. Could I visit a flower shop really fast?

The cold steel I felt on my neck gave a negative for that question.

"I expected us to meet in a different way, Jiraiya-sama. What do I owe the pleasure?" I had little issue keeping my voice calm. It's not like simple metal could really harm me for very long so the threat wasn't much of one.

"You are Connor."

"And you are the Legendary Super Pervert."

The blade didn't waver at the title, but I had the feeling of amusement coming from him.

"The information you told the Hokage, where did you get it?"

"Did Hokage-sama tell you of my ' _condition_ '?"

"He did. What about it?"

Staring at the ground on all fours had become boring and somewhat uncomfortable, so I said, "You mind if I sit? I like to speak to a person's face instead of to the grass."

The blade retracted and I turned over so I was looking at the Toad Sage himself.

Yes, his outfit was as odd as it was in the show. I wondered how exactly he got his hitai-ate to have horns on it and why he had the kanji for oil instead of the Konoha leaf symbol. Those, however, were questions for later. He sat and waited for me to speak.

"If Hokage-sama hasn't told you of my ability, then I shouldn't talk about it. Once I gain permission from him, I will tell you whatever you want." I saw his face becoming hard, so I quickly said, "However, because he has told you about your students, I will tell you all about that. What I know, anyways."

His face returned to its almost blank state that included a frown to show minor displeasure.

"How do you know about my students, and what makes you think they are alive?"

The real question was how it had taken so long for him to get to Konoha? I had told Hiruzen the information _months_ ago!

"I can't reveal my sources, but I know that at least two of them are alive. The one with a certain rare ' _asset_ '," I tapped my finger on my closed eyelid to indicate the Rinnegan, "And the one who's jutsu rely on paper."

"Yahiko. You didn't mention him. What is wrong with him?"

"I might be wrong, but I do know that he gets killed by Hanzo of the Salamander. Hanzo is tricked by someone into thinking that the organization that the three of them make, or have made, is a threat to Hanzo."

Jiraiya's body stiffened before relaxing slightly and saying, "What is the name of their organization and where are they located?"

"Akatsuki. And I think somewhere in Ame. The one with the 'assets' kills Hanzo and takes Ame over as the main base for their organization. I'm not sure when this happens though."

Jiraiya stood and said, "If any of this is false, I do not care what the Hokage orders, I will seal you into the belly of a frog and have you be digested even as you heal for years before I finally seal you away where no one will ever discover your location."

Honestly, I felt scared of the Toad Sage. The killing intent he gave off combined with a very real threat truly made me fear for my existence.

"It is not false. I know it may not seem like much, coming from a stranger, but you have my word that everything I say is the truth as I have seen it. I have not given you any falsehoods, nor attempted to lead you down a dark path."

"For your sake, I hope so."

He turned away, and I said, "Next time, would you please just ask to speak with me? Toads are cool and everything, but their insides are not. No offense." I said that last comment to the giant toad who was about half the height of myself. He waved his hand and vanished in a puff of smoke.

"I might. We will speak again at a later time."

He walked away and I waited a minute before laying on the ground and staring up through the trees and into the sky. That had been an... interesting experience. I never anticipated meeting Jiraiya that way.

After laying there for a decent amount of time, I finally got up and went in the same direction I had seen Jiraiya walking. It turned out to be a little ways behind the Hokage monument. I admired the view while on the top of the fourth's head.

"I really wish you had managed to live. Maybe a great deal of the crap today wouldn't be an issue if you hadn't died. You could simply Hirashin your way to Ame, kick his ass, then lead the village into a bright new age. All in the same week!" I chuckled at my words and felt some sadness. I had never met the guy, but he had seemed so nice in the anime that I couldn't help but mourn his death just a little.

"I have heard of your passion for Konoha." A voice spoke from behind me and I turned to see an unwelcome, but expected, sight.

"I do not believe we have met."

"We have not. I am Danzo. I have a proposition for you."

I didn't speak for a moment, thinking of the best possible response. He couldn't know that I knew of Root, or he would have something done to me to put me out of the picture. He also couldn't know of the utter disdain I felt towards the bastard. I hated nearly everything about him, desire to protect Konoha be damned. He didn't have them yet, I thought, but the Uchiha eyes he had been implanted with had always revolted me.

"Seeing as you are meeting me where no one is watching, I assume you are making an offer that isn't for public ears."

"You are correct."

"Continue."

"I am the head of a group known as Root. Root is on par with Anbu and is much more secretive. I wish for you to be a part of this group and use your condition to perform acts that most other ninja would not be able to." How did that bastard find out!?

It was time to put this conversation to an end.

"I notice that you say that you are the head of a group even more secretive than Anbu. You did not say the Hokage controlled Root. I owe my allegiance to Hiruzen-sama and will not be a part of a force not under his control. Especially not one that was meant to be disbanded years ago."

"You will not become a member?"

"Sorry, but no. I will, however, not mention this meeting or offer to Hokage-sama if you do not try to approach me again."

He did not speak for a moment, and I felt as though the bandaged man was wishing he could kill me, despite not feeling any KI from him. His old body may have slowed down with age, but he would easily be able to dismember me if he truly wanted to. Or he could have the Root members that were no doubt watching do it for him.

"Very well. We will not meet again under these circumstances."

He turned his back and I hear the tapping of his cane as he walked away.

I let out a nearly inaudible sigh. That day had been full of surprises. With a Toad Sage currently threatening me and a very dangerous political figure being outright denied, I was on some shaky ground.

"Screw this. I need to relax." I jumped up and over the side of the Hokage monument. I didn't bother sticking to the wall on the way down and pumped chakra into my feet to make the breaks minor when I landed. Anybody else who tried that would probably have at least two bad breaks in their legs, if they were lucky. Me? I waited for a minute and continued onward, ignoring the small craters I had left upon impact.

I knew of this sweets shop that I had never bothered to visit, and suddenly had a craving for teeth rotting goodness. (Though my teeth remained the same shade of dull white even with weeks without brushing or extreme whitening sessions with a toothbrush.)

I entered the shop and was surprised at the crowd that was sitting around at tables and various booths. It seemed that the place was a popular hangout area for Shinobi and civilians alike.

I ordered a stick of dango and relaxed in an empty corner of the room. I had my hood up and was pretty slouched over as I ate the treat, so I knew I was the cause of more than a few odd looks.

The looks, however, were redirected when the room's ambient noise suddenly dropped. I looked up and saw a familiar looking Kunoichi strutting in with a smirk on her face.

I liked her instantly. No, not in a romantic sense, but in a kindred way. She obviously gave not a single shit about the sneers in her direction and had no problem telling anyone that.

She ordered an amount of dango that, quite frankly, an Akamichi would have trouble consuming when starved. After receiving the platter of treats, she sat down at a table that was suddenly empty. About half the people in the shop had left when she came in. How rude.

I ordered three more sticks of dango and decided to relax there for a good while. That dango was good!

"Hey whore!" I stopped the bite that was to finish my third stick, and closed my mouth.

Anko, for who else could eat so much dango and not be an Akamichi or Uzumaki, didn't react to the man's words.

"Nobody wants a traitor like you in a good place like this! Why don't you go somewhere else!"

The entire room fell silent, aside from the sound of Anko still eating her dango.

"You listenin', bitch!?"

I set the dango down and stood. The room looked at the only other person who dared move aside from the insulting man and Anko.

I walked around the tables in the room in silence and went to the man, who glared at me.

"Keep it down. This is a family environment."

The man's face turned red and he began spewing insults and held a fist to my face, well, my hood. The most he could see was my chin and possibly the bottom part of my head. I relied on his lower body's movements to see if he swung at me.

When his insults turned into profanity, I escorted him out. Meaning: I grabbed his shirt in my fist and dragged him out the door as he screeched various threats and other things. Good thing he was a civilian, as a ninja would have been slightly more difficult to handle.

I dropped him when he was a block away from the sweet shop, ignoring the stares coming from people at the sight of the man being dragged away by an oddly figure, and used Shunshin to arrive back at the shop.

I walked back in to a slight buzz of conversation and went to the shopkeeper.

"I apologize for that, Shopkeeper-san. I couldn't let someone be so blatantly rude in a public place."

The man said I was forgiven and offered a free stick of dango as a thanks. I accepted and nodded silently to Anko, who spared a look at the person who defended her, and left.

It was a few hours later, while I was training, when Anko appeared.

She said hello by having a snake the same size as the one that Orochimaru tied me up with all those years ago wrap around my upper body. It was even almost the same color!

"Is it sad that I can honestly say that this isn't the first time I've been in this situation?"

Anko appeared next to me with her trademark smirk and pushed my hood off. "Most men I show an interest in end up like this now and again. But I don't think I remember ever meeting you."

"You haven't. I would remember such a wonderful attitude towards fools who don't know when to hold their tongue. What were you thinking of doing to him?"

"Hanging him from the Academy in his boxers right before the kids got out of class."

I snorted. It was a funny image, but too tame.

"I would have expected something worse for such rude insults."

"The Hokage made me promise not to do such methods of revenge anymore. He called them, 'scarring' and 'irreversible damage to their psyche'. So I had to suffice for little things."

"Have you considered putting them in Genjutsu?"

"Tried that before. That's the 'Irreversable damage' nonsense."

"Ah."

"Yeah. Now why exactly did you do that? Haven't you heard about me yet?"

I blinked and said, "I know you apparently are well known by the populace. Or at least by the people in the sweet shop. Judging by the pile I saw you demolish, you go there often?"

She smiled and nodded. "My favorite food, dango is. Best food there is, **ever**." The dangerous glint in her eye told me that I better not say otherwise, and I didn't plan to.

"It is great, I can't deny."

"You never answered my question. You know I'm Anko, right? Snake bitch and student of the biggest traitor Konoha has ever known?"

My eyebrow rose. "And? Is this supposed to intimidate or impress me?"

I saw Anko's face get a surprised look for a moment before she frowned.

"Orochimaru. I was his student before he threw me away. All of Konoha knows this and doesn't exactly welcome a traitor's student walking free."

"Let me tell you a little secret," I leaned forward and stage-whispered, "I'm a product of the snake bastard as well. So I don't give a single crap what others think of you."

Anko lost all form of a mask and I saw the complete shock on her face.

"Now I do not have that horrible Curse Mark, but you can be assured, he left me with another mark that doesn't take the shape of a seal."

Her eyes narrowed and she said, "Explain."

So then I told her what I could. A part of me just trusted the dango-enthusiast, even with the Hokage's unspoken orders to keep quiet.

I didn't tell her everything. I avoided mentioning my visions of the future, as the Hokage had vocally ordered me to not do so, but I told her about the rest. Only touched on my soul not coming from this world, but she didn't question it.

The entire time, she watched me with a blank mask and did not speak.

She then stepped forward with a kunai and stabbed my hand. I winced as the metal slid in and out of my palm, quick as a snake striking.

"A cut would have sated your curiosity, you know," I mutter as the ash sealed the hole and I shook the blood off with the little mobility the snake restraint afforded me.

"I wanted to be sure. Now I know you are not lying. But why tell me?"

I shrugged and said, "I'm bored."

Her eye twitched and she started laughing. And not mean laughter, but actual amused laughter.

"I think I could stand being near you."

"Thanks."

"Don't be. It means people won't be so indifferent or pleasant to you."

"Sheep villagers are boring."

"I'm not going to be less of a bitch to you."

"Eh. You'll at least be honest."

She snorted and the snake around me relaxed and slithered back into her sleeve. Good riddance.

"You are probably the stupidest person in Konoha,-"

"Connor."

"Whatever. I've got crap to do, so I'll be seeing you."

She Shunshined away and I smiled.

"At least she's interesting." With this in mind, I continued the kunai practice I happened to be in the process of until the sun began to set.

* * *

When I heard that Kumo had requested negotiations with Konoha, the first place I found myself was knocking on the Hokage's office.

"Enter."

So I did to see none other than Hiashi Hyuuga, the clan leader of the Hyuuga, standing in front of Hiruzen. Hiashi didn't bother to turn to look at me when I came in. I didn't know if it was because he was rude to those he considered below him, or if he was using the Byakugon to see me.

"Hiruzen-sama. Have you implemented the precautions for the upcoming negotiations?" He couldn't miss tiny eye movement in Hiashi's direction. To anyone else, it would look like my eye had just glanced at him for a moment for no obvious reason.

"I was actually going to call you because of that. I have a B-Ranked mission for you."

I straightened up slightly at the words and listened.

"For the three days the Kumo representatives are in Konohagakure, you are to stay in the direct vicinity of Hinata Hyuuga-"

"Sarutobi-san!" Hiashi protested with obvious heat, despite his usual stoic tone. "We are already going to be on high alert after the warning you have given us. Why is this necessary?"

"It is another measure of security. It is but for three days. You do not have to provide any rooms for him as he will be awake for the full three days."

Hiruzen's made it obvious that there was no use arguing, so Hiashi bowed stiffly and with a, "Hokage-sama," he left the room.

Once he left I asked, "You really think I can make a difference to their defenses?"

"I know you can be with her at literally all times and that you can deal with the rudeness of others without complaint. The group from Kumo arrives in two days. Arrive at the Hyuuga compound the morning they arrive and protect Hinata Hyuuga for the three days and nights the Kumo group is in Konoha. Dismissed."

I bowed to Hiruzen and left his office with my shoulders feeling surprisingly heavy. I had just been given the protection of an important character's life. It wasn't some random noble that had never been mentioned in the anime or manga, but a member of the (legendary) Konoha twelve and Rookie nine.

For the next two days, I did literally nothing else except prepare for the Kumo group. I searched the Fuinjutsu book for any seals that might assist me, but found none that couldn't be defeated by someone with rudimentary skills in the art. And anyone with a sure hand and some ink can create or destroy a seal. So that left Fuinjutsu out except in directly hostile situations.

After extremely careful thought, I just decided that spamming clones over a long period of time would have to work. I would hide them all around the compound and they would report any problems if and when they came up.

* * *

I found myself at the Hyuuga compound's main gate and gave the mission scroll to one of the guards standing there. Oddly enough, the both of them had very obvious swords hanging from their hips. Anyone who knew even a little about the Hyuuga would know that they needed no weapons for their Gentle Fist style of fighting. A single touch would put most low-level enemies out of commission and hamper a great deal of stronger opponents.

"Follow her. She will bring you to Hiashi-sama."

I nodded and bowed to the two guards, whose expressions never wavered from their mildly threatening, yet still blank 'make a wrong move, and I'll leave you twitching on the ground' expressions.

The Hyuuga woman, a branch family member, led me in silence through the compound.

"Your home is beautiful." It really was, if you didn't mind the plain nature of their walls. The flowers and koi ponds made up for it.

"Thank you."

We went the rest of the way in silence. She left me in front of a door with a slight bow and I entered.

Hiashi was already sitting inside when I entered and I saw a cushion that had been set there for guests. How considerate.

The only reason I didn't call the room a throne room was because of the desk filled with scrolls and inkwells; hence calling the room his office. I sat in the respectful seiza position, despite wanting nothing more than a regular chair. I never liked seiza as it was hard with my Organization XIII coat. I managed it well enough.

"Good morning, Hiashi-sama. I am here to begin the mission given to me by Hokage-sama."

He tilted his head in what could barely be considered as a nod and said, "I do not see why your presence is needed, as I will already have someone with my daughter at all times. But I will respect the Hokage's wishes and you will be with my daughter for the next few days." His face suddenly acquired a piercing stare and he said, "If my daughter is hurt or any Hyuuga believes that you mean my clan harm, you will be brought down and taken to T&I."

I did not react to the killing intent he gave off, and bowed to the clan leader.

"Understood, Hyuuga-sama. When can I begin my mission?"

The KI cut off and I was sent on my way.

The Hyuuga branch member brought me to a room and left me with a bow. I entered and found a man and a little girl in matching poses that I recognized as the end of a kata.

The man looked at me and said, "Hinata, continue. I'll rejoin in a minute."

She nodded and only spared me a small look before returning to her movements.

"Good morning, Hyuuga-san. I am here for my protection mission." I bowed to the man and he gave a shallow bow as well.

"Very well. Please take a seat as we are currently in the middle of Hinata's morning routine."

I nodded and sat in a more relaxed cross legged position as they finished.

* * *

It shocked me at how children who were only around three or so years old were forced to learn the Shinobi arts at such an age. And that's nothing compared to Hinata's clan head training. She was taught so many rules and procedures that it made me glad I was not reborn into some prestigious clan. That crap would have made me go Itachi on their imperious asses.

Hinata rarely met my eyes without blushing and had only given me the necessary greetings and formalities when in the same room as me. Which was quite literally any time she was not using the bathroom or bathing.

I learned about Hinata's sister, Hanabi, on the second day. Apparently, Hinata's mother was currently pregnant with who would become Hanabi. I met her, Hinata's mother, for a brief minute between Hinata's training sessions.

It was the third night when Kumo made its move. A Kage Bunshin that had henged itself into a small tree dispelled and informed me that a non-Hyuuga man had just burrowed out of the ground and was headed for the compound. How he had evaded notice, I'm not sure.

I clenched my teeth and prepared myself. I heard the sounds of combat appear directly outside and created six Kage Bunshin even as Hinata began to wake up.

The paper door of Hinata's room tore apart and a man stepped in, only to have two Kage Bunshin grab his arms and the real me to slap a piece of paper with a seal directly on his forehead. The only reason I managed it was because of surprise. If he expected more than a little girl in the room, I might have been in trouble.

His body went limp after a moment of hesitation and my Kage Bunshin went to work tying the Head Ninja up.

"Hinata!" Hiashi stood in the demolished doorway with five other Hyuuga standing nearby in various battle stances.

One Kage Bunshin, who stood in front of Hinata as another protective barrier, stepped aside at the appearance of the clan leader and pocketed the kunai he had been wielding.

Hinata shook slightly, but straightened and bowed to her father, as she had been taught.

"I am okay, father. Connor-san kept me safe and I was not harmed." Her pronunciation was a bit slow and unsteady, but the three year old had a surprising grasp of the language.

Hiashi's stance relaxed slightly and he looked to the unconscious Head Ninja.

"I will have three Kage Bunshin escort him to Konoha T&I, with your permission, Hyuuga-sama?"

I could tell he wanted to send him somewhere much farther than T&I, somewhere with a bit more fire and brimstone, but nodded and had two Hyuuga go with my Kage Bunshin.

Hiashi found various excuses to spend the rest of the night near his daughter. Hiashi's brother, Hizashi, rushed into the office and Hiashi calmly explained what had happened. He had Hizashi go to Hinata's mother and explain what had happened.

A minute after Hizashi left, the memories of my Kage Bunshin came to me.

"He is with T&I, Hyuuga-sama. The other Hyuuga members and my remaining two Kage Bunshin are on their way to the Hokage to explain what has happened."

Hiashi accepted my report with a nod and continued with giving orders to tighten security even further than before.

I felt a tug on my coat and looked down to see Hinata standing there.

"T-thank you, C-c-Connor-san."

I smiled and said, "You are welcome, Hinata-chan."

Hinata blushed furiously and went back to her father, who looked at me with a blank expression before returning to his orders. Hinata probably wasn't used to getting the more affectionate -chan honorific. She's probably always getting the more honorary -san honorific, as she is training to be a clan head.

* * *

The next morning, the Kumo group left Konoha in a rather stiff manner. The Head Ninja had been released from T&I with a warning to never come back to Konoha without express permission from the Hyuuga themselves. This kind of put a damper on the peace treaty that had just been signed, but not very much.

I found myself in the Hokage's office next to Hiashi Hyuuga and Hinata, who hid slightly behind Hiashi's robes.

"I wish to take back my reservations from before. Thank you, Hokage-sama, for assigning Connor to protect my child."

Hiruzen accepted the thanks with a nod while my insides were doing backflips. I-me-had just gotten a thanks-a sideways thanks, but a thanks nonetheless-from the head of one of the biggest and snootiest clans in Konoha! I wished I could record that moment for all eternity.

On the outside, I showed nothing of my inner fist pumping attitude. Hiashi left after some more small talk about unrelated politics and I was left with Hiruzen, who dismissed his Anbu.

"I will admit, I still had my doubts. This is the first time any of your predictions has come true and if it had not, I'm not sure what would have been done. I thank you for telling me of it."

"I thank you for allowing me to prevent it. Has Jiraiya-sama been to see his students yet?"

"No. He has some business to attend to in Konoha before leaving."

"Checking Naruto's seal?"

Hiruzen frowned and I shrugged.

"Or is he peeking in the female side of the bathhouses? I can never be certain with him."

His mouth twitched in a small smile and he said, "You know of Naruto then?"

"He plays a major role in the future. Of course I know of him and his furry little buddy."

Hiruzen's eye twitched at my description of the Kyuubi. The strongest of all tailed beasts and killer of the fourth Hokage, being called a ' _furry little buddy_.' He was probably questioning my sanity. The nostalgic smile I gave probably didn't help my case.

"Then you also know of the law enacted that concerns him and the Kyuubi?"

At this, I scowled.

"I know of it, and I can't say that I, personally, approve. I know it is necessary, but he needs to be told before someone else tells him and tries to kill him while he is in shock."

Hiruzen's eyes widened and I said, "It will not happen for a long time, so do not worry about it right know. For now, can we discuss the fact that his godfather is never around and instead constantly pervs on women?"

Hiruzen rubbed his head and sighed.

"His spy network is one of the foundations that holds this village. He cannot be in the village taking care of a child-"

"He doesn't have to take care of him, simply tell him that he is his godfather and visit him when he comes to the village. Naruto is- will be, a simple kid. Just knowing he has family will help him tremendously. He will also hold his promises. Make him promise that he won't tell others about who his godfather is and no one will know unless you give permission."

Hiruzen thought for a moment and said, "I will speak to Jiraiya-kun. Dismissed."

* * *

Yup. Longest chapter thus far. There's going to be a decently sized time-skip in the next chapter that will skip to more interesting things. Tell me, how do you all like Connor's look? I admit, I wouldn't say no to an Organization XIII coat if it was available to me. Even in real life.

About Hinata's mom, to those who will undoubtedly complain about her. There is very little said about her and details are scarce. All that is said of her is that she is kind. So I couldn't really go in depth with her character very much.

Tell me what you think of this chapter. Good? Bad? Meh? Suggestions and advice are most welcome.


	4. The Massacre

Edo Tensei: My Resurrection chap 4

My deepest apologies for my absence! College scholarships have been the bane of my existence lately. But here's a extra long chapter to make up for it. Please tell me how it is!

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, wouldn't need scholarships to go to college.

* * *

Chapter 4

Hiruzen spoke to Jiraiya sometime later. He didn't say it, but I was pretty sure it took him awhile to wear Jiraiya down so that he finally agreed to tell Naruto that he was his godfather when he was of an appropriate age. Apparently there were some conditions involved, but Hiruzen did not tell me what they were and I did not ask.

I did not speak to Jiraiya in his remaining time in Konoha and did not see him for awhile after that. I was pretty sure he didn't have the highest opinion of me. I felt a little put out about this, but decided that it was well worth it.

I finally had an informal meeting with the Hokage at the Sarutobi compound. He asked me many questions about Earth and I answered them as best as I could.

I had a particularly ecstatic feeling when he admitted that Democracy was a decent idea in my old world, but easily conceded to him when he said that it would never work in the Elemental Nations. He already had enough trouble getting ideas through the council as things were. Any village that tried Democracy would fall in a month. Tops. The only reason it wouldn't fall faster is because it would take awhile for the other villages to realize that it wasn't a trick and send over some forces.

* * *

Roughly five years have passed since my arrival to Konohagakure.

I finally met Naruto by pure chance when I saw him in the Hokage's office after the orphanage's matron dragged him there to announce his eviction and left before Hiruzen could say or do otherwise. She had some balls talking to the military leader of her village in such a way. That wouldn't stop me from making her life a living hell later on.

I happened to be in his office when this occurred and watched as an Anbu took him to an apartment that Hiruzen had rented for him on the spot.

When Naruto and his Anbu escort left, I turned to Hiruzen and changed the topic from the C-Rank he was offering.

"Hokage-sama, if I could ask for a meeting?"

Hiruzen noticed my tone and had the Anbu guarding him leave before he activated the security seal.

"How are the negotiations going?"

"Badly. I'm trying my absolute best to ease the divide between the Uchiha and the rest of the village, but nothing seems to work for long."

"Have you instated the inside agent?"

"Yes."

"Keep Danzo away from Itachi if you want the massacre to be prevented and continue to work with the Uchiha."

He didn't comment on how I knew his inside agent and instead frowned.

"I've already reduced his power dramatically after Jiraiya learned the reason of his former student's hatred for Konoha. But I do not know much more I can do without causing chaos in Konoha's political system."

Jiraiya had found his students in Ame three or four years ago. They, Konan and the newly renamed Pein, told the Toad Sage the reason they hated Konoha with such a passion while trying to kill him. After some digging, Jiraiya returned with the incriminating information of Danzo in mind. Jiraiya escaped to Konohagakure and spoke to Hiruzen. Jiraiya barely managed to avoid being killed by Pein as he escaped, and suffered a bad stab through his leg which left a limp years afterwards.

Before telling everything to Hiruzen, Jiraiya found me.

It was not a pleasant meeting.

* * *

FLASHBACK

I found my windpipe being crushed and the feeling of a Shunshin a moment later. The streets of Konoha were replaced with forest a moment before my skull was cracked as it met a tree.

"You said he was dead! But he isn't!" He pinned my hands to the tree with kunai and screamed into my face with rage. "Yahiko was alive and tried to kill me. HE HAD THE RINNEGAN! Yahiko would never take Nagato's eyes! You lied to me! Yahiko said that Nagato is dead!"

"He is! The Yahiko you met was a corpse-" Jiraiya crushed my windpipe once again before I could say more. Honestly, I didn't think he cared what the truth was. He was in a rage and the KI pouring out of him was almost crippling. His hands were already running through a long series of hand seals that looked to be some sort of summoning jutsu.

A hand stilled Jiraiya's hands and a welcome voice appeared.

"Jiraiya-kun. Let Connor speak. If what he says is damning enough, you may continue."

Someone must have seen my abduction by the Toad Sage and reported it to the Hokage. Thank Kami, God, The Log, and whoever else I could give thanks to. Fuck it. Jashin too. Just because I was delirious enough.

"Nagato uses his Rinnegan to control corpses using the piercings you saw in him. Were there any other orange haired, heavily pierced people?"

Jiraiya, who had calmed down somewhat, but whose eyes still boiled with unspent rage, answered with, "There was only one. He appeared before I got close to Ame. Konan appeared first, we fought, then Yahiko arrived."

"Then he has yet to gain proficiency to control multiple corpses. Nagato was somewhere in Ame, controlling Yahiko's corpse. I'm sorry, Jiraiya, but Yahiko is dead. The Rinnegan is able to allow other eyes with Rinnegan to see through another. That's how he does it. How exactly he got more Rinnegan, I don't know."

Jiraiya did not speak for a moment and Hiruzen took over. As the killing intent pouring off of him had reduced greatly, I felt my shoulders relax just the tiniest amount. Maybe I wouldn't be spending eternity in the stomach of a toad.

"Jiraiya, let's go to my office and we can discuss this is a private meeting. Connor, you are not to leave Konoha unless ordered by myself directly."

"Understood," I acknowledged Hiruzen as he turned Jiraiya around and began to lead him away.

I looked down to the two kunai which still pinned my hands to the tree and scowled when I saw I couldn't pull them out with my teeth. I grimaced at what I was about to do and shivered at how disgusting it felt.

I pushed my hand so it slid up the blade and handle, thus freeing the appendage at the cost of a rather large hole and a decent amount of blood. No amount of pain tolerance gets you used to the feeling even if the pain wasn't that bad. I waited for it to heal before pulling the remaining kunai out and putting both of them in my kunai pouch. No need to waste the weapons.

After making sure I was fully regenerated, as most people did not take kindly to the sight of broken bones and large open stab wounds, I made my way slowly back to the village.

"Oi! Connor!" I looked up to see Anko standing in a tree, smirking.

"Heard you got kidnapped by the Toad Sage. I see you're still standing and more or less alive. What happened?"

Seeing as I wasn't stabbed, poisoned, or jokingly seduced on sight, she must be a bit worried for me.

I waved for her to join me on the ground and spoke when she was on my level.

"Classified. But I told him something he didn't want to hear. When he found it was true, he didn't react well."

She acquired a worried frown and said, "First Danzo and now Jiraiya. I get that you're practically immortal, but you need to learn that you can only piss off those who's asses you can kick."

I snorted at her 'advice'.

"How did things go on your last date?"

"They still haven't found the body."

"Anko!"

"Joking!"

FLASHBACK END

* * *

"Sasuke is what, five now?"

"I believe so. Does his age matter?"

I thought and said, "I think that Sasuke was either six or eight when the massacre happens."

"Knowing when would be an incredible boon." Yeah, like I didn't already know that.

I racked my brains, trying to remember. Wasn't Sasuke in the Academy when Itachi killed his clan.

"Don't kids begin the Academy at eight years of age?"

Hiruzen nodded slowly, not understanding my line of thought.

"Then it happened when he was eight. That gives you a few more years."

"I believe that Sasuke's birthday is sometime soon. I was invited to it by Fugaku-san recently."

"A couple years, then."

Hiruzen waited for a moment until he knew I had nothing more to add, and dismissed me.

I found my way to Ichiraku.

"Evening, Connor-kun! What will you be having?"

I nodded a greeting to the ramen cook and got my regular.

"Someone came in today who looks like he could match you in an eating contest in ramen. A kid! If you can believe it."

My eyebrow rose in interest and I asked, "Oh? And who dares to match my record?"

At one time, Ichiraku had held a ramen eating contest to see who could consume the most of the goodness. A great many of the Akimichi clan showed up along with others.

None matched me as I gulped down bowl after bowl. Was I cheating with my immortal status that did not require nourishment yet didn't have a limit, yes. Did I care? Not at all. It was worth it, seeing so many try and glimpse the face of the skinny and hooded figure that I was.

The prize turned out to be a three free bowls a day, for one year, at Ichiraku.

"Teuchi-san?"

The old man paused in his stirring to look at me.

"After today, I wish to transfer my prize I won awhile ago to the kid. Naruto, correct?"

"How did you know? Met him?"

I smiled and said, "Sort of. But is it alright if I do that?"

Teuchi nodded after a moment of thought. "Yes, I can do that."

"Don't tell him it was me. Just tell him there is one condition: that he continue to work his hardest every day. Actually, make that two conditions. That at least one free bowl he orders has vegetables in it that he MUST eat."

Teuchi smiled and agreed with a nod.

That's the first way I made a real difference in Naruto's life. Despite being in the village for so long, I had only seen Naruto that one time in the Hokage's office. It was a big village and I lived on the other side from where Naruto's apartment was at. Of course I often heard the villagers hissing about 'That Demon Brat' often. Especially when he began pranking at age six.

I have to admit, for a kid who doesn't event have the ability to climb walls using chakra, it was admirable that he managed to get away from so many Anbu and other Shinobi.

One prank, which included swapping the coffee in several different buildings with gravy, had a large force of tired Shinobi chasing a cackling Naruto.

Naruto lost the forces chasing him and I happened to see where he hid.

I dropped down behind him in the alley and whispered, "Should've put pepper juice in it."

Naruto nodded absentmindedly before jumping up with a scream at the shadowy hooded figure who crouched next to him.

"You'll never catch me alive!"

I threw out a strand of ninja wire on the end of a kunai and had it wrap around his body, causing him to fall with a grunt. It was so easy to catch him that I wondered how the Anbu and other Shinobi had so many troubles.

"Relax. I'm not going to give away your position. I was just giving some advice for the future. They would me much slower at starting the chase if they have to cool off their tongues first. That's why I suggested the pepper juice."

Naruto, who had been trying to wriggle out if the ninja grade steel wire, stopped and looked at me.

"Heh, I'll remember that. I'm Naruto!"

"Connor. Now duck behind that trash can." I cut the ninja wire as I ordered him, hearing the approach of someone above us.

He threw himself behind the smelly container without protest and I looked up at the Shinobi on the building above me, a Chunin by the looks of him.

"The kid ran that way! I heard him say he was going to hide in some bushes!"

The Chunin grinned and ran the way I pointed, calling to others nearby. The only area in the direction I had sent them with bushes was near a large training ground. So they would have to go quite a ways and have a large area to search.

After a minute, I said, "You can come out."

Naruto poked his head out and looked before walking up to me.

He rubbed his head and said, "Thanks for that- eh, what's your name again?"

"Connor. And you do know that I only distracted them? You'll get punished eventually."

"I know. But it's so worth it!"

I smiled and asked, "Why those places though?" I had noticed that he had hit only certain buildings and not just a random area.

"They throw stuff at me sometimes. I don't know why, but I wanted to see their faces when they tried to drink that stuff!" He switched topics like a kid with ADHD.

I remembered how Naruto had supposedly been in the Academy at this time.

"Are you supposed to be in school right now?"

Naruto froze guiltily and I knew the answer. This gave me an idea.

"How about I make a deal with you, Naruto?" I pulled off my hood as an afterthought. He would be more receptive to a normal face than a piece of cloth. My face was just a little pale, as the combination of the hood and Konoha's leafy overhead kept the sun off of me most of the time. It took almost three years before it finally began to pale. My muscles were the same and it took almost two years before I managed to acquire the amazing six pack I sported. Being a reincarnated body had its downsides.

This caught his interest and he nodded vigorously. Probably thought it involved getting out of trouble.

"In exchange for letting me bring you to the Hokage, and taking your punishment, I will help you in school." The protest that came forth at me bringing him in died in his throat.

"You're going to teach me cool ninja stuff?"

"When you're a bit older, yes. You've got to let your chakra coils develop before you try to use any jutsu. I'll help you in school whenever I can so you can keep up with your classmates."

Naruto thought for a good long time and I waited silently as he did so.

"Alright! But I can still do pranks, right?"

I snorted and answered with, "Kid, I wouldn't dare try and stop your pranks. But let's head to the Hokage's office now. Tomorrow, after you attend the _entire_ day at the Academy, I'll meet you after and help you with whatever you're working on."

Naruto nodded and we walked to the Hokage's office.

I entered to see a Shinobi angrily complaining about Naruto and he almost began to yell at Naruto when I walked in with him.

I say almost because I let off some KI at the man before he could let out a word. Judging by his clothes, he was a Genin like me. It was a bit sad, but not uncommon, to see grown Shinobi who stay Genin their whole careers.

Hiruzen dismissed the man and, after administering Naruto's punishment of delivering the coffee shipments of one of the buildings he pranked for one week, dismissed Naruto as well.

"Is there something you wish to talk with me about, Hokage-sama?"

"There is. My Anbu have informed me that you plan to teach Naruto."

I remembered that there was Anbu always around Naruto at this time in the series. And made a mental note to watch what I did with their presence always around. They must have overheard what I offered to do for him and told Hiruzen.

"I do. I know that Naruto's teachers will not be treating him properly. I'm going to pick up their slack whenever I can."

"It can't be that-"

"It is, Hokage-sama. I assure you that the 'Teachers' are as bigoted as any foolish civilian. If it didn't mess up the future, I would beat a few of them into a pulp for being so unfair to him." I didn't bother hiding the irritation I felt on my face.

Hiruzen did not speak for a minute, so I continued.

"I will not teach him anything techniques remotely dangerous until he becomes a Genin. I won't be teaching him any techniques until his chakra coils grow a little more. But when I do, I'll teach him little jutsu that are helpful in survival situations. Mostly, I'll be helping him improve on his grades and accuracy. Do I have your permission, Hokage-sama?"

"No." His answer floored me for a moment before he continued.

"As Hokage, I cannot assign a Genin to train an Academy student. It is just not done. So, no, I can not grant official permission for you to teach Naruto."

I bowed to hide the small grin that appeared on my face and said, "Of course, Hokage-sama. I will be on my way."

Hiruzen bid me farewell and I couldn't resist grinning on my way out of the office. He hadn't given me official permission, but he had informally and offhandedly told me to do what I could to help him.

I found Naruto the next day, carrying a heavy bag of coffee grounds to one building he pranked the day before.

"Balance it on your shoulder and it'll be easier to carry."

Naruto, jumped at my appearance, but moved the large bag to his shoulder like I advised.

"Thanks. It is easier!" Too bad he put the bag down a moment later in front of a sneering man, so he had carried the bag the hard way the whole time. At least he knew the easier way from now on.

I saw the sneering man about to speak, and it obviously wasn't going to be a polite thanks.

"Lets get you to the Academy, Naruto." I waited until Naruto turned his back from us to look at the man and let some killing intent leak into my look at him. His face paled and he took a step back.

"He'll be back tomorrow with the next bag." The man nodded quickly to my words and I cut off the KI before Naruto noticed.

I joined the blond-haired kid a little ways down the street, which he had run down in his excitement.

"I'll meet you after school and we'll train."

"Okay! Did Jiji send you?"

I knew he meant Hiruzen, so I nodded. "Yup. Hokage-sama asked me to help you with school. What all are you going over right now?"

Naruto then began telling me bits and pieces about what his class was learning. It was disjointed and he only knew a little bit due to not paying attention in class, but I got the gist of it.

We arrived at the Academy a little while before it began and I waved goodbye to him before putting my hood back over my head and walking away. Several children stared at me as I walked away and I made a note to wear my hood from then on when I arrived at the Academy.

Once I was a good distance from the Academy, I created six Kage Bunshin. Three of them I had go to the Academy and henge into spiders before hiding in the classroom where Naruto sat. The other three, I had go to the library and brush on Konoha's history. Learning the history of the place I had been living at had not been one of my priorities, so I needed to learn in order to help Naruto.

Once I created several other batches of Kage Bunshin to go train in various ways, I did a few D-ranked missions to kill time.

* * *

I stood apart from several groups of parents with my hood raised as I waited for Naruto to exit the Academy.

A legion of small bodies left the place of learning and it wasn't difficult to locate the blonde haired Naruto.

He ran up to me and grinned.

"I'm ready to train!"

I smiled and waved for him to walk with me. "Lets go to a training field. We'll get any homework you have done first, then we'll train, okay?"

"Okay!"

I walked Naruto to the training ground I had some Kage Bunshin prepare beforehand and waited as he got out a notebook, talking all the while.

It was sad and maddening how bad he was at writing and math. To my eyes, the words were scrawled and often spelled wrong. I was just glad my eyes translated it into English for the most part as attempting to read his written Japanese would be hell. It was already difficult beyond belief. Some didn't even translate, and I was stuck wondering just what it was.

Thankfully, though it felt as though I wrote solely English, anybody who read what I wrote could read it perfectly. I didn't question it, and instead used this to help show Naruto the proper way to draw the letters and words.

Math was harder for him, and only divine patience helped me stay level-headed while teaching him basic addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division.

Though I didn't let it show on my face or in my body language, I had a very real urge to find each and every one of his teachers and put them in the nastiest Genjutsu I could scrounge up and learn. I had only learned some simple Genjutsu, but I made it a priority to learn some stronger ones.

"You've got the idea down. Let's stop and do some warm ups."

The ink stained Naruto dropped his brush and jumped up with new energy.

I led him through a simple Academy kata, and found myself cringing inside at how bad he was at the movements. The teachers must have been doing their absolute best to prevent him from graduating. Fuck them.

* * *

It was too late in the year for me to help Naruto pass his upcoming graduation exam in the Academy. He was only six, going on seven, so it was practically impossible for him to perform the three Academy jutsu. His chakra coils were not developed enough to use effectively yet. If you added in the massive chakra reserves he possessed, there was no practical way for him to succeed.

I treated him to ramen to help cheer him up and sent some Kage Bunshin to fuck up the teacher's days for the next week. I legally couldn't kick their asses, but I could certainly disable their hot water, rearrange their silverware, and attach their furniture to the ceiling.

Oh yes. Karma is a bitch! Who know that seals could be so useful for pranking?

To cheer Naruto up, I tried teaching him some Fuinjutsu.

I had to Kawarimi us out of the way with some nearby logs to avoid making Naruto a cripple after he attempted a seal that collected water. There wasn't any words involving 'Heat' or 'Boom'. So how he created an explosion that leveled everything within a twenty meter radius, I will never know. Honestly, I'm surprised that the Uzumaki didn't get killed off sooner.

From then on, I kept my eyes over his shoulder at any time he had a brush in his hand and my hands in the seal to Kawarimi at all times. Not that I let him see that.

* * *

Two years passed, and it was when Naruto was in the class that would be dubbed the Rookie 9 when the worst came to be.

Despite the Hokage having done everything in his power to appease the Uchiha, the massacre happened. It wasn't just Itachi who did it, but he was the one to shoulder the blame.

* * *

A FEW MONTHS PRIOR

I was in the Hokage's office and tensions with the Uchiha were at a breaking point.

"I do not think it can be stopped," Shikaku admitted. I stood next to Shikaku Nara, Jounin Commander and one of the advisers of the Hokage. He had been told of my ability a few years before and was a pretty relaxed guy, truth be told. Hell of a shogi player.

"But I do think we can save some Uchiha from being slaughtered, Hokage-san," I piped up and the two of them looked to me.

"While I doubt we will be able to stop the masked man even with Itachi's help, we may be able to hide some Uchiha from their sights. Give long term missions with S-ranked secrecy or simply hide some away with some excuse you can make up."

Shikaku shook his head and said, "Can't. The Uchiha are keeping every strong Shinobi in their compound and making excuses to keep them off the mission rosters. Itachi is about the only member they still allow to work, and that is only because they believe he is spying for them. Are there any more details about this 'Masked Man' that you can give us?"

I shook my head, firmly denying him. Now was not the time for Obito to be revealed to the world. He might move before we could do anything to retaliate or protect ourselves. I had no ideas of how to even begin countering Tobito's intangibility technique at my level of power.

"Then give some lower level Shinobi some long term C or B Ranks. Sasuke can NOT be left alone or he will become a self proclaimed 'Avenger'. This causes an unholy amount of chaos and irritation in the future."

A knock on the door caused me to close my mouth and the Hokage had the person enter. Seeing as the secretary hadn't stopped them, I knew that whoever it was had the reputation to be able to enter.

The Uchiha looked at me with a blank expression and then to the Hokage.

Hiruzen said, "He has the clearance. Speak."

"My cousin, Shisui, is dead."

I felt a jolt of pain and closed my eyes for a moment. I had met the kid once on a short C-Rank and he was nothing like most Uchiha. He laughed and joked around often, and I regretted not preventing his death. To be fair, I didn't know any way to stop them from taking his other eye.

"Not suicide though, was it?" I asked, trying and failing for a sarcastic tone.

Itachi's eyes flicked to me and he said, "That is the same tone the Uchiha have been questioning me with. They believe that I killed him."

If his tone wasn't so clinical and emotionless, he would probably be tearing up. Any other person, except Anbu and Root, probably would.

"He gave you his remaining eye, didn't he? Take good care of it."

His blink was the only thing that alerted me to his surprise.

"Is it alright if I continue speaking, Hokage-sama? I think I have a new plan." I had come up with it just then. The sight of Itachi had sparked it.

Once Hiruzen gave permission, I told them my idea.

A minute after my plan had been suggested, Hiruzen looked to Shikaku and he was in 'thinking' mode for three full minutes.

"It could work," finally, Shikaku spoke. I let out the breath I had been holding on instinct thanks to the relief. If a genius like Shikaku thought a plan had a chance, then I was convinced that it had a chance.

"Then begin preparations at once."

* * *

THE NIGHT OF THE MASSACRE

I ordered Naruto to stay home, instead of teaching him late into the night like I normally did. I went to the predetermined location that an Anbu had told me a week prior.

"Is everything in place?"

The Nara clan head turned to me and nodded.

"We managed to send a few Genin and Chunin teams containing Uchiha out of the village recently. So if this plan fails, there will be a few others out there."

I nodded and looked at the gigantic pile of scrolls waiting for me. Each was marked with a black piece of tape, to indicate what they held.

"Remember the steps. Knock out, replace, then leave the evidence."

I nodded and spent the next few minutes creating Kage Bunshin. Each one took a paper with a seal inscribed on it from the real me before grabbing a scroll from the pile.

"It took me a week to fill those, so do not waste them," I instructed all the Kage Bunshin, who already knew what they needed to do.

The massacre began. Uchiha were dying on the other side of the compound where Itachi was and my Kage Bunshin were doing everything they could to save the people Itachi were supposed to kill.

The steps went as such. The scrolls contained dead bodies of black-haired people that had been cut up or killed brutally, or at least made to appear that way. Very few were actually Uchiha, but some just so happened to be. Those who weren't Uchiha were torched by Katon jutsu to mask the fact.

My Kage Bunshin worked in groups of three. One would Kawarimi themself with the person Itachi had put into an intense Genjutsu, that would be strong enough to keep the other Uchiha from breaking out with their own Sharingan. Another would let out the corpse held in the black marked scrolls. The Kage Bunshin would then use the paper I had handed them to cover the wounds and surrounding area with the blood I had spent the week filling them with.

It was my own blood, by the way. It turns out that the easiest method that hurts the least is to cut off my hand and allow the resulting blood to flow into a flask that I sealed quickly to keep it fresh. I then regenerated, and did it again. It was not pleasant. But it would fool Tobito if he decided he wanted to see if Itachi was actually going through with the plan.

Unfortunately, Tobito would have been able to see my Kage Bunshin with his Sharingan. So at any time Itachi told me to hide, I felt my soul contract just a little bit more. Itachi truly had to kill people when he knew that Tobito was watching. He didn't want to tip him off to our plan. At least I did not have to see him commit the acts. My Kage Bunshin had to dispel the moment he gave that signal or the plan would have been ruined.

After the people were 'rescued' by my Kage Bunshin, they were taken to a safe location and guarded by the last Kage Bunshin while the other dispelled itself.

I created hundreds of Kage Bunshin that night. The mental backlash put me in a week-long coma that was full of nightmares of the images I had seen. The memories of the many houses that Tobito had gotten to first consisted of so much death. It made me regret not stopping Tobito, but the decision was made and couldn't be undone.

* * *

Forty-eight Uchiha survived. If you did not count Itachi and Obito, then that made fifty Uchiha left in the world. Unless Madara was still alive, in which case that meant there was fifty-one left.

According to a report sent in from Itachi, who had fled the village after the massacre, Tobito was not suspicious of Itachi. He, Itachi, had successfully joined Akatsuki and was feeding Konoha information as their spy.

Itachi's parents died. Tobito had upheld his promise that Sasuke would not be harmed, and instead put a Genjutsu on him that gave him the memory of Itachi killing his parents while erasing his memory of Tobito. It put him in a coma that lasted for two weeks.

After waking up in the hospital, the first place I went was the Hokage's office.

"Connor-kun. You should be resting." Hiruzen took in my hospital attire as I jumped in from the window. I hadn't bothered locating my usual clothing, so desperate I was for information upon awakening.

I was told about how many Uchiha had survived and what story was given out to those who were rescued. Apparently, I was walking by when I heard screams from the Uchiha district. Upon investigating, I managed to get those who were caught in Itachi's Genjutsu out of there only moments before he killed them. No one looked too deep into it. The ones who had survived thanks to my 'help' had left their thanks in the form of flowers in my hospital room. The blood and corpses that we had used as Uchiha-replacements were removed before anyone saw them.

The Uchiha that survived didn't get the opportunity to see any of the fake bodies, as they were removed fast enough for there to only be a slight bloodstain left behind.

"Only forty-eight," I said with a bowed head. I had thought we could have saved more. There were around two hundred Uchiha at the beginning of that night, counting those who had been sent out of the village. I cursed Tobito for being able to move so quickly. Itachi was expected to kill about a third of the Uchiha while Tobito did the rest.

"I want you to go home and take the next week off. No strenuous training. No missions. That is an order."

I nodded in a semblance of a bow and left without another word. I ducked into a closet to avoid a pissed off looking nurse, who was no doubt looking for me as she was muttering about, "Damn ninja! Leaving before we give the ok!"

This lifted my spirits somewhat, and I made my way home. I sent a Kage Bunshin to collect my clothes from the hospital and bring them to my apartment.

* * *

"Hey, Connor-sensei?"

"Yes, Naruto?"

"Why is everyone so sad?"

I corrected a small spelling error in the sentence he was writing before answering.

"I want you to stop pranking for a little while. The Uchiha clan has been almost completely killed off and the village is in a state of shock."

Naruto stopped his writing and looked up at me with an expression of horror.

"What! How!?"

"Itachi Uchiha killed almost all of the Uchiha a little more than a week ago. I managed to get a few of them out of their clan compound before he could find them. He caught me and I was put under a strong Genjutsu before I could get away. Luckily, some Anbu arrived and forced him to flee before I was hurt."

Naruto looked at the ground, looking shocked, before his head shot back up and he asked, "What about Sasuke?"

I didn't fault him for asking. Sasuke had been out for the same amount of time as myself and Naruto, after receiving such news, was right to be worried about his classmate.

"He's in a coma. Itachi put him in a Genjutsu using his Sharingan. Same as me. He'll wake up in about a week, I think." It put a bad taste in my mouth to tell him those blatant lies. I knew it was all for the greater good and crap, but damn! He was always so honest that my usually silent morals were bugging me.

I let this information sink in before I repeated my earlier statement.

"I want you to hold off pranking for a week or so. With the grief that everyone is feeling, they might be more inclined to seriously hurt you instead of letting Hokage-sama give you a punishment. Understood?"

He nodded mutly and began to write again. It was slower than before and I knew he was not really that focused on it. I didn't blame him for it.

I decided that he needed something to get his mind off of the sombre mood I had instilled.

"Set your homework to the side for right now. I want to show you something."

Naruto put his stuff in a pile on the table I had drug out there for us to use and turned to me.

I pulled a small square of thin paper out of an inner pocket of my coat and held it up for him to see.

"This is chakra paper. All you do is channel a little chakra into it and it will show you what elemental affinity you have. I'll demonstrate." I paid close attention to the paper myself, as I had not yet discovered my affinity by that point. Chakra paper was expensive and I had bought three sheets for an outrageous amount.

After pushing some chakra from my hands into the paper, I was irritated to see it crumble into dust.

"That means I have an earth affinity. If it gets wet, you have water. Slices apart: wind. Crumples up: lightning. Burns: fire. And if it crumbles into dust like mine just did: earth. This means I have an easier time learning earth release jutsu." It also meant I had stayed under my own affinity without being able to do shit about it for several years. The irony made me want to blow up all the earth in the general vicinity. Destructive therapy.

I handed another paper I had in my pocket to him and waited as he concentrated.

As expected, the paper ripped apart violently.

"Wind," I said unnecessarily. "That's pretty rare in Konoha. The only person I can think of with that affinity doesn't happen to be in the village right now." I had met Asuma a few times when I visited the Sarutobi compound. I happened to see him leaving the village a few days ago with what appeared to be a few Chunin. Unless it was somewhere close by, a mission that required a Jounin and some Chunin would take a decent amount of time to complete and return to Konoha.

"Even if he was in Konoha, elemental manipulation is a Chunin level skill. Sometimes even Jounin level. It wouldn't be right for me to teach an Academy student something that dangerous. I will when you become a Genin."

He grumbled at my words but did not complain. He knew that I kept my word unless something huge prevented me from doing so.

"Since elemental manipulation is out of the question, I will teach you something else that is pretty useful instead."

I searched for a seal I had a Kage Bunshin prepare beforehand and held the seal up for him to observe.

"This is called Maki Kemuri no Jutsu. (Winding Smoke Technique) It involves utilizing a pre-written tag to cover a large area with green smoke. It's useful for both getting away from a stronger opponent and also blinding opponents who cannot find a way to counteract the smoke. It can also hide your actions for however long your enemy is blinded. This will allow you to lay traps or time to think."

Naruto nodded along to my words excitedly and I knew he wasn't about to stay quiet for long.

"Just watch." I held up a hand sign next to the paper and activated it without bothering to call out the name of the jutsu. The immediate area was shrouded in green tinted smoke that gave Naruto a small coughing fit.

I saw that it was taking the smoke longer than usual to clear, thanks to the little wind around us due to the trees. I grabbed Naruto and got out of the smoke before allowing myself to breath again. I sometimes forgot that everyone couldn't simply stop breathing if they so chose to.

After his coughing subsided, he jumped up and declared that he wanted to learn that so he could be the greatest Hokage Konoha had ever seen. Or something along those lines.

I rolled my eyes and we headed back to the area that was mostly smoke free by that point. I spent the next few hours teaching him the individual components of the seal needed for the technique.

At the end of it, he had somehow created a seal that had the ability to cover an area about half the size of Konoha in orange mist. Just by messing up a few spots...

The Hokage would not be pleased.

* * *

It was three weeks later when Sasuke returned to the Academy. According to Naruto, he was mostly the same as he was in the anime. It was when he wasn't in public, in somewhat more private locations, that his human side came out. He showed regular emotions, albeit somewhat muted, when around solely Uchiha.

I felt a little bad spying on him via Kage Bunshin, but not much. Sasuke lived with a man and woman who had no children of their own. The man happened to be one of those sent out of the village for his protection during the massacre. The woman was one I had 'rescued'.

They lived like a normal Shinobi family, more or less. Sasuke was melancholy and broody most of the time, but the presence of parental figures kept it from building up to something more.

Though Sasuke was technically the Uchiha clan head, he wouldn't take that post until he became a Chunin at the very least. Until that point, the Uchiha had decided on a system that was somewhat along the lines of a Democracy. The adults, or anyone Chunin and above, all had voting rights, with some having higher rights due to their position in the clan or the village, and it was by the majority that clan decisions were made.

But enough of inner-clan politics. It was a month after the massacre that I was called into the Hokage's office.

"Afternoon, Hokage-sama." I walked through the door, for a change, and bowed to Hiruzen. The reason for this amount of politeness was due to the three other people who were in the office when I arrived. I did not recognize one of the men. But I suspected that he was an Uchiha because the man and woman who stood next to him were ones I had 'saved'. All three wore hitai-ate.

"Good afternoon, Connor-kun. I've asked you here at the prompting of these three here."

Hiruzen nodded his head to the three and the Kunoichi took the initiative.

"Hokage-sama. The Uchiha clan has voted on it between ourselves and have decided to request that Connor of the Leaf be allowed to take the exam to become a Chunin as soon as the special preparations can be made."

I blinked and blinked in surprise when Hiruzen only took a few seconds of thought before replying.

"Connor has been a Genin for several years now despite moving beyond the mission requirements long ago. Yes, I will allow it. It will take a week for the test to be created- but this is all under the assumption that Connor wishes to take the Chunin exam?"

"I do, Hokage-sama," I said with a bow and a smile.

Hiruzen smiled and said, "Then in one week's time, you are to come to the location I will have someone inform you of later. There, you will take the exam. The best of luck to you."

I took that as a dismissal, and gave him one last bow. I gave the three Uchiha a bow when I passed them on my way to the door. I waited until I was a little ways away from the Hokage tower before pumping my fist and grinning furiously under the cover of my hood.

"I see you are incredibly youthful this fine morning!"

I flinched when I realized that Gai had witnessed my silent self-congratulating and turned to see a familiar group. Well, familiar to me anyways. The majority of them hardly knew me.

"Yo, Gai," I greeted him as I walked over to the little restaurant his group sat in.

I nodded politely to Kurenai Yuhi, who I had not formally met yet. Asuma put a little distance between Kurenai and himself when he saw a beginning of a grin appear at the sight.

"So what is the cause of your Youthful celebration?"

"I'm taking the Chunin exam in a week. I've been a Genin for so long that becoming a Chunin is odd to think of." I'm not saying I hadn't considered taking the Chunin exams when they were held in the years I lived in the village. I just never got around to them. Considering the Hokage gave me C, B, and rarely A ranked missions despite my status as a Genin, becoming a Chunin had never been a big priority. It was more of a title than anything else and that didn't matter too much.

"The Chunin exams aren't for awhile. How are you taking them in a week?"

I turned to the new voice and smiled when I saw a concealed, yet familiar nonetheless, face.

"Yo, White-haired-sensei. Been awhile since I've seen you. And it's because the Uchiha requested it from Hokage-sama."

Kakashi blinked lazily and looked back down at a familiar orange book. Kakashi didn't react, but I heard Kurenai made a sound at the back of her throat and looked to see a scandalized expression on her face.

There was some idle conversation between the four of us, sans Kakashi, who still read his erotica silently, before I said my goodbye.

I found Naruto after school and told him of my upcoming Chunin exam and apologized because I had to prepare for it instead of helping him. I promised to send Kage Bunshin as a replacement, and he forgave me before wishing me luck.

I spent the next week learning various Doton (earth) jutsu from various sources. I managed to wrangle two out of Kakashi by making a deal with him regarding the Icha Icha series. The others I got from various scrolls and by questioning one or two Chunin. I even got one from Anko, who first cut my head off for not visiting her in a month before teaching me the seals for the jutsu. (She demonstrated it by using it on me. I had to burn the coat I was wearing after that session. There was no way to get that much blood out of the cloth.)

Any time I was not training myself on new jutsu I was perfecting my already learned repertoire. I found out that Shisui had earned his title as the Shunshin was very dizzying after four or five consecutive uses. As was the Kawarimi. I even worked with the henge, making it tangible and trying out various objects and such. (I thanked future Naruto for the idea of tangible henge by treating the current Naruto to some ramen.)

* * *

"So I just have to land a hit on him?"

"Yes."

"That's it? No written tests? No puzzles? No catching giant demonic parrots?"

I'm pretty sure I saw the Anbu's mask twitch when I mentioned the last, completely random, part.

"No. Just land a single solid hit on him, and you will receive Chunin status. Ready?"

It was odd how simple this seemed. I had been told to meet a few kilometers from Konoha at noon for my exam. And then I had met with two Anbu who were in charge of giving me the Chunin exam. After all that work and practice for various scenarios, this was beginning to seem like a piece of cake. Heck, I was prepared to take on any of the three Sannin with how much planning I had done beforehand. Actually win against said Sannin? Doubtful.

"Any rules?"

"Stay in the clearing. You have one hour. Use any means you desire but try to avoid outright killing. I will declare when the match ends."

"Alright. I'm ready."

"Begin!" the Anbu declared before leaping away and out of sight.

I threw out a few shuriken to test the waters with the blank-masked Anbu and he simply leaned from side to side to avoid the projectiles. Show-off.

With that thought, I shoved chakra into my legs and sprinted forward in a burst of chakra-enhanced speed. I dodged the standard katana he pulled out and punched out to his chest. My fist impacted wood as he replaced himself with a log and I ducked to avoid a rain of kunai from above.

He landed on the other side of the large clearing and I decided that close combat wasn't going to work very well. Time to pull out the Ninjutsu.

"Doton: Tobi Tsubute!" (Earth Release: Flying Thrown Stones) I went through the six seals and slammed my hands into the ground, just in time to see another log take his place when the earth in front of my hands cracked and was sent flying forward.

He reappeared, again, behind me with a few shuriken thrown at my exposed back. I sidestepped them and put my hand in the cross seal.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu! Doton: Iwadeppō no Jutsu!" (Earth Release: Rock Gun Technique). Four other voices mimicked the second technique and a small avalanche was sent in five separate directions. To evade, the cheeky bastard replaced himself with one of my own Kage Bunshin and proceeded to dispel two more before me and the remaining Kage Bunshin ran at him with kunai brandished.

We spent almost fifteen more minutes trying out various techniques and failing at every turn. I created several bunches of Kage Bunshin and most were dispelled before they could get off a jutsu.

When half the allotted time had passed, one of the Kage Bunshin looked at me and shouted, "Do it!" Right before he got a katana through his chest. It was really dramatic, what with the smoke and such. I imagined a spray of blood and did a mental send-off to my fallen Kage Bunshin.

I grinned and sent out five more Kage Bunshin to distract the Anbu as I mentally prepared myself for my one and only Kinjutsu (forbidden technique). I had practiced it in secret, making sure no one in Konoha knew what I was doing. It was a jutsu that Naruto himself had used in the final battle right before fighting Sasuke. Of course, it had no affect on the lady, but it might work on the mortal man who was my opponent.

Preparing the large amount of chakra necessary for it to be fully tangible, I replaced myself with the Kage Bunshin nearest to him and shouted, "Oiroke no jutsu!"

The Anbu hesitated at the name of the never-before-heard-of ridiculous, and possibly deadly, jutsu. That was his undoing, as a burst of smoke cleared away to reveal a red headed busty woman whose only covering was some leftover smoke and a lusty smile.

There was a split second where you could see the Anbu's brain short-circuiting and asking, 'What the Fuck?!' before crimson liquid began spewing out the bottom of the blank mask and his whole body shivered and collapsed.

I strolled up to the downed Anbu and bonked him lightly on his arm before looking out into the surrounding area and dispelling the infamous Sexy Jutsu along with the last Kage Bunshin standing.

The other Anbu appeared with a slight stumble and straightened up with a declaration of, "Winner. Connor of the Leaf. Here is your official Chunin vest and paperwork. Please submit it to the Hokage as soon as possible. Congratulations."

I accepted the vest and paper and grinned in delight.

"You do realize that I have to write a report about this?"

"Yup."

"And he does as well."

"Poor Ero-Anbu. (Pervert Anbu). Is it hard to get blood out of the mask?"

"Somewhat, yes. Now report back to the village."

I bowed to the Anbu and left with a Shunshin.

* * *

Anko held out a stick of her dango and declared, "For this most hilarious tale, a single stick of dango I shall award to you!"

I snorted and accepted the treat while she burst out laughing and beat the table with her hands.

"Oiroke no jutsu! Hahahaha! You have GOT to teach me that!"

"Oh, I don't think you need any jutsu to cause immense nosebleeds to men all over the elemental nations. Some women too." She didn't hold back the punch to my arm and snorted at the seductive tone I said it with.

I rubbed the spot and good naturally groaned. The bruise began to heal even before beginning to form and I muttered, "I'm beginning to regret ever telling you about my immortality."

"Oh shut up! I've only beheaded you twice this week!"

"I'm counting that bad cut as partial beheading as well," I said and crossed my arms. I then noticed a great deal of clientele were staring at us, some with horrified looks. I scratched at my neck and a few shivered. They were probably wanting to see under my hood to see if I had any evidence of getting beheaded. I resisted the urge to freak the civilians out and instead stood.

"Sorry, Anko. I've gotta be going now. Need to actually turn in my paperwork to Hokage-sama."

She saluted me goodbye with an empty dango stick and I headed out to the Hokage's office.

I waited for a Genin team to come slumping out, covered in scratches and cursing Tora, before I strolled in and placed the paperwork down onto his desk.

"Connor, reporting with Chunin promotion paperwork, Hokage-sama."

He put the paperwork aside and gave me a grave look.

"Connor-kun. I've read over the report of your exam and have a single question."

"Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"Is that jutsu you used to end the exam something of your own invention? Did someone teach you? Or does someone invent it in the future?"

I grinned and said, "Someone in the future. And what a fine moment in the future it's going to be."

I could see Hiruzen shiver at my words and he muttered something involving Jiraiya, new Kinjutsu, and perverts. I chuckled at the few words I could hear.

"I request that you do not use it on Konoha Shinobi any more. Or among civilians of other villages. Frankly, I wish you wouldn't use it at all."

I laughed at the words before I said, "I promise not to use it on Konoha Shinobi, unless they deserve it. And I will not embarrass the village with it." Not too much, anyways.

Hiruzen nodded and put my paperwork in his to-do pile. I noticed that said to-do pile looked very small.

"Making good use of my advice all those years ago?" I asked while eyeing the pile.

"Yes I am," Hiruzen smiled. "The paperwork has never been as low as it has been for the past few months. I finally get to see the wood of the desk now and again!"

I grinned and asked if there were any A-ranked missions available. I hadn't taken an A-rank in awhile and felt like getting out of the village for a bit. Spending too much time in Konoha made me get a little stir-crazy. The fact the village was huge made no difference. Just the feeling of being contained in general bothered me.

It wasn't like I was claustrophobic, no. It was more of a side affect of being stuck underground for many years while only having a few square centimeters between myself and dirt...

Okay, maybe just a little claustrophobic...

He deliberated over a few choices and finally handed me an A-ranked Assassination mission.

* * *

Typically, Assassination missions are not done solo. Backup was usually handy if only to divide the night watch. The only reason I didn't bother with backup is because I didn't really need sleep. This made travel time become drastically reduced and chances for nighttime ambushes non-existent.

My mission almost wasn't worth the A-rank pay I would get upon its completion. The only reason it had that rank was due to it being located in a small village near Iwagakure. It being close to a near hostile Hidden Village added the extra danger to warrant the A ranking.

I arrived at the small village and Henged into a normal looking civilian. Seeing as I snuck across the border and didn't have any kind of viable excuse for being in the country, getting caught wouldn't have been a smart idea.

My target was a man who was suspected of human trafficking. My mission was to find the man, who was suspected to be in that village, find out whether or not he had a hand in human trafficking, and then eliminate him in a quiet manner. He was guilty of a few other crimes, so he was going to die either way. It was only because the Land of Fire frowned so heavily on the Human Trade that I was to bring any evidence that I found back to our information department.

I wandered through the village, keeping an eye out for the guy and stopping now and again at stalls to inspect the wares. I saw a few Iwa Shinobi walking around, but they didn't notice or pay much attention to me and I made a note to keep an eye out for them so as to continue avoiding attention.

I found my target right as night began to fall. He was stumbling along the street, drunk as he could be and holding what I assumed to be a prostitute around the shoulders. I followed them unseen as they made their way through the village and to a somewhat secluded housing district.

I waited until the man passed out on the couch and the woman left, disgust showing openly on her face as she stomped away. I started to drop the Henge but held off when a familiar feeling let itself be known. I wasn't a sensor by any means, and that's not how I felt the presence. I had way too much chakra to even hide myself efficiently, let alone sense others. The best I could do was make others think I had higher Genin reserves rather than the mid Jounin amount I normally carried.

I held off and saw a figure toss an indistinct shape into the house through a window and move away before the night was lit up by a fiery explosion. Seeing as the man was passed out drunk and a civilian when the explosive went in, much like the guy's life, my mission was over. I didn't get any information off the guy, which annoyed me, and I decided to find the person who did my job for me. We needed to Talk.

Dropping my Henge, I pushed chakra into my legs and bounded where I saw the figure last. It was easier than I expected to find the figure and was left staring at a blonde teenager whose features were lit up by the flames he created.

My mouth quirked when I realized who it was and I said, "That was a beautiful job. A real piece of art, I would call it."

Deidera stood straighter and smirked at my words.

"It's good to see someone who appreciates art as much as I do, un."

"It was a pretty show, I'll admit. But I kinda had my own mission related to that fellow you just sent to the Shinigami. I wonder if I get paid if the job is done for me?"

"Oh, and where are you from?"

I saw his hand twitching slightly inside of a pouch on his hips and threw kunai at him to interrupt the creation of his 'art'.

He dodged and small animated pieces of clay in the shape of various insects filled the air. An overpowered Katon jutsu forced the explosives to detonate at a somewhat safe distance and painfully scorched most of my tongue to ash. That was one reason that overpowering jutsu was a bad idea. Anyone who doesn't contain a biju or isn't a walking dead person, like myself, would lose important body parts in the process.

"Hmm, you seem informed on just how dangerous my art is. I don't suppose I could get a name so I can send your village a nice letter along with your head, un?"

My tongue was still healing, so I instead put my hands in the familiar cross seal and summoned up six Kage Bunshin. They attacked Deidera as I summoned two more groups of six and finally spoke.

"As for how I know of you, Deidera," said explosive maniac twitched at the sound of his name before sending another of my Kage Bunshin out of existence via explosive means. "I happen to know a great many things. Things that I really shouldn't know."

"Doton: Iwadeppō no Jutsu!" I shot the clay bird constructs out of the air with small, high velocity, rocks. The ones I missed removed the log I replaced myself with from existence.

I avoided the clay centipede that attempted to crawl up my legs when I was distracted and forced it to detonate via an explosive tag delivered by a thrown kunai. I got pelted by some dirt and brushed it off before speaking again.

"Word of warning that I suggest you heed. Three men will come for you one day. Each will wear a coat adorned with red clouds and will want you to join them. If you join them, you will die and your ultimate art will never been admired. That is all."

I saw the young blonde, adorned in his black clothes and mesh undershirt, begin to speak moments before I replaced myself with a log that was located half a kilometer away. The Kawarimi took every ounce of what chakra I had and I spent the time I was forced to wait to think about the actions I had just done.

Deidera would report me and my words to his Kage, no doubt. He apprenticed under the old man who was Iwagakure's Kage, if my memory was correct. That meant his words would be taken more seriously than if another Shinobi had told him. He would be told of my ability to spam the chakra intensive Kage Bunshin no jutsu and of my mission to kill the man. I hoped that the lack of obvious village identification or name would make it harder for them to connect me to Konoha.

Mainly, funnily enough, I was worried about what sort of name they would award me, if any. Hidden villages typically gave their own Shinobi their names, such as the Yondaime with the title of the Yellow Flash and Hiruzen with the title of Professor. Now and again, however, names were given by other villages and they stuck. If I was lucky, it might not be too bad.

If it was something stupid, I was going to shove the entire plotline up Deidera's ass in the form of a katana covered in paper tags. And salt. That bastard was about to suffer before I sent him to the Shinigami. I would figure out how to fix the lack of Deidera after getting my revenge.

* * *

"Son of a bitch!" I exclaimed when Hiruzen slid a Bingo Book across his desk. A rough sketch of me stared up from the paper and I picked it up to read what was written next to it. I wondered how they had gotten my description in the books so quickly. I had only been away from the village for two other days after the mission while taking care of something else.

'Name: Unknown.

Affiliation: Unknown, but not Iwagakure.

Appearance: Unknown is a tall male wearing a grey cloak. His face is hidden by the hood and he has no other known notable physical features.

Jutsu: Proficient with Kage Bunshin no jutsu, Doton: Iwadeppō no Jutsu, and has a powerful Katon jutsu. No other techniques observed.

Rank: B-ranked. Possibly A.

Reward offered: 5,000 ryo.'

I finished and put the book on the desk before muttering, "5000? That's it!? I kicked the student of the Iwagakure's ass and I get 5000 ryo!?"

Hiruzen chuckled and put the book away.

"I remember the first amount they set on my head. It was Kumo, I think, who put it in," the Sarutobi said in a reminiscent way.

"How much did they start out with you?"

"50,000 ryo."

I narrowed my eyes and asked, "Are there any A-ranks available?"

Hiruzen threw a scroll to me and said, "A noble in Kiri needs to die in a public, preferably brutal fashion."

* * *

I was back in the Hokage's office a few days after completing the A-rank. He slid the book forward and I skipped to the bottom.

"15,000 ryo. Now that's more like it."

* * *

So it's been awhile. I've had college stuff taking up my time so I hope this extra long chapter will make up for my absence. Please review!


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